SexEdward!
by Ali Edward Cullen
Summary: BxAxR BFFLs. What will happen when they are hired to go back to their old high school to teach a class of horny and ignorant teenagers SEX-ED? Rated M for future LEMONS. Canon Pairings. OOC/AU/AH Co-writen w/ Stefania Cullen Mrs.Cullen4Ever93 RxR PLEASE
1. Prologue

PROLOGUE

Precisely one year ago, my friends, Alice Brandon, Rosalie Hale, and I, Bella Swan, embarked on a dangerous journey evolving hormonal nightmares, known as... Middle School Preteens. Now you may be wondering what we were doing in a Middle School at the age of 23. Well it's quite simple. We were hired to teach a Sex-Ed course.

I'm pretty sure Alice and I were meant to be best friends. Coincidently our mothers were both taking a yoga-palettes-for-expecting-mothers-class. While assuming the position of "the downward-dog" they both went into labour, and were rushed to the same hospital. After giving birth to both of us, our mothers were transferred to the same room, where they spent the next 3 days bonding and becoming the friends they still are today.

Rosalie came into our lives, -more like rammed into our lives, but that's beside the point- while we were sitting in the cafeteria raving about the exceptionally God-like, Edward Cullen and his assumed to be boyfriend, Robert Pattinson. They claimed to be best friends, but people chose to think otherwise, you see, according to the laws of humanity, Edward was way too perfect to be straight, and Rob...Well he'd always had a tiny bit of gayness to him. But no one had ever had any solid evidence to their orientation. Either way, Edward has been totally off limits for our entire high school careers, and to be really honest, I pretty much couldn't accept that he might as well be fictional. So there we were talking about how gorgeous he was and I had said something like "I don't care if he's gay Alice, I WILL jump him someday" when Rosalie, who was sitting right behind us turned around. "Oh-my-God. Are you two really that desperate?!" Of course, Alice's temper flared and turned "She wasn't talking to you Rosalie Hale," she spat, "Why don't you mind your own business once in a while?"

Rosalie turned a dark shade of pink and tossed back her long blond hair, "I simply was pointing out to you how utterly idiotic you sounded, talking like that about a gay boy." This time I turned red. Rosalie had no problems attracting the opposite-sex and she was very aware of that fact. The arguments continued on for several weeks and eventually the criticism became compliments and finally resulted in civilised conversations. Long story short, she ended up becoming one of us losers, despite her great hair.

So here we are, entering the familiar doors of Forks Middle School ready to teach the most dreaded and embarrassing subject of our time, for the students that is. As for us, we simply can't wait!


	2. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

**Ok hey guys! This is Ali Edward Cullen and I just found out how to do the A/N... haha funny eh? well its not when you know where it is and then you loose it and 4Ever93 is panicking onthe other line about how she uploaded wrong and stuff so ya enough about our problems.**

**So this is the first chappy that has been added a while ago so ya just puttin and A/N and stuff. **

**Disclaimer: We do not ownanything Twilight we just play around with the characters... Like all of the other fanfictioners... RxR!!!!PLEASE**

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**BPOV**

The three of us walked up the stairs of Forks Middle School, with confidence that would put Angelina Jolie to shame, when we heard a crack.

"WHAT THE EFF!"

Rosalie and I spun around to see pixie-like Alice, sprinting in bare feet to her yellow Porsche, swearing under her breath. A few moments later, she was running back to us like a first place marathon runner, triumphantly flailing a new pair of shoes in her hands.

"That girl never ceases to amaze me," Rosalie laughed.

"My new Jimmy Choos shoes broke." She whined rolling her eyes and said in a matter of fact-ly tone."But I always have a spare in my trunk, you know my motto: 'be Prepared'."

Rosalie looked impatient, "Yea, and mine's: 'No less than eight inches.' Now let's get a move on!"

We continued walking up the stairs and simultaneously took a deep breath when we reached the doors. Rosalie reached for the handle and pulled with all her might. She stared blankly at the door for a few moments, probably wondering why they wouldn't open. She turned to us, her eyes wild with fear and panic.

"Oh-My-God girls! The school is in a lock down! Get behind me, I'm a black belt."

She jumped in front of us, howling some strange Amazon war cry, while assuming some karate position, ready for the battle. Alice pushed me aside with irritation and slapped Rose behind her head and effortlessly _pushed _open the door. I quickly followed her pointing to a sign that read '**PUSH'**, in big bold black letters.

"Dumb Ass!" I yelled, bringing Rose out of her state of shock.

We followed signs leading us to the reception office, all while laughing at Rosalie's complete stupidity.

"I really hope there are security cameras," I commented "Then maybe we can get a copy of your little spas attack"

Alice began to giggle uncontrollably and was forced to run into the nearest bath room.

She came out a minute later, "Do you guys have an extra pair of underwear?"

Rose and I looked at each other, before crumbling to the ground in total hysterics.

"What?! Like it's never happened to you before!" She pouted.

"Go..." Rose caught her breath "Commando!" This only brought us deeper into hysteria.

Alice however didn't take it as a joke, and with a mischievous smile marched back into the bathroom. She emerged moments later with underwear in hand, safely tucking them into her purse.

"What better way to teach sex-ed than by going commando?"

"Wow." I muttered, "That's so beyond gross." Rosalie and I, in complete disgust walked off pretending we didn't know her.

We finally, reached the reception office.

A lady with fake red hair and blue eye shadow monotonely asked us for our ID's and our purpose for being there. We explained to her that we were here to teach sexual education. She gave us a pitying look while we beamed back at her, proud of our job. She told us to go into the principal's office and to show our ID's there. We obliged and walked in to the office.

It was like a movie. When we walked in the principal's office, he was sitting in a rotating chair his back to us. Waiting.

"Long time no see lady's" His voice was familiar, I just couldn't put the voice with a name. Only when he spun to face us did I realise it was Robert. Robert Pattinson the little gay boy who stolen my high school crush. We stood there wide eyed, occasionally looking at each other. When Alice decided to speak.

"So...You wanted to see our ID's?" She squeaked.

"Yes please." He said, apparently looking at Rosalie's exposed cleavage, in what seemed to be a very non gay way.

I cocked one of my eyebrows, in slight confusion. Rose nudged me, urging me to take out my ID.

I took it out and waited for the other two to do the same. When it came to Alice though, it went terribly wrong. She, forgetting about her underwear situation, boldly rummaged through her purse allowing its contents to spill all over his desk.

Upon seeing the wet underwear, it was Rob's turn to cock an eyebrow. I suppose he was shocked, to say the least, I mean wet underwear can be taken in many different ways you know, and judging by the way he was looking at Rosalie's cleavage before, his mind wasn't exactly pure.

Alice turned pick and snatched the underwear from his view. And thrust her ID in his face. _The poor boy. _I thought.

After that, things got even more awkward, Robert, I mean Mr. Pattinson, decided to let us out and find our own ways to the classrooms, saying that we already knew the school. Of course we knew that he didn't want to spend another minute with us after that little episode. We also spotted the two security camera screens in his office, showing the front doors and the hall ways, knowing that he had probably seen Rose's little attack.

So we left, once again giggling until we reached our destination: the biology lab.

We knocked and heard a chair scrape the floor, the door handle moved and a tall Native boy opened the door.

"Hi" he smiled a toothy grin and turned his head, "Mr. Cullen! The Sex-Ed teacher's are here!"

A sexy velvet voice replied from inside, "Well, invite them in, Jacob."

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**k so how did you like it? Let us know please!**

**-Ali Edward Cullen 3 **


	3. Chapter 2

**Yeah. Hey! So we wrote this like a little while ago I just got it to upload and ya let us know what you think and also check out Stefania Cullen's Story 'Meant To Be' Its awesome and totally rocks something hard ;) Happy reading! RxR!**

**CHAPTER 2**

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"_Hi" he smiled a toothy grin and turned his head, "Mr. Cullen! The Sex-Ed teacher's are here!"_

_A sexy velvet voice replied from inside, "Well, invite them in, Jacob." _

**EPOV**

I woke up this morning feeling relieved that I would have a stress-free biology class for the reason that I had requested to have sex-Ed teachers come to teach my students a little about the reproductive system, also known as Sex.

Upon arriving at school, I attempted to walk through the hormonally raged students that were just arriving as well. I did a quick check in with Rob, who again reminded me of my special visitors today. He also mumbled how I was in for the surprise of my life. I was confused with his tone of voice… Maybe he thought I was a prude? Whatever, I've sat through enough sex-Ed courses that could make a sailor blush.

_FLASHBACK_

_I sat down in my seat at the back of class knowing I was in for another dreaded sex-Ed class with the school nurse. Ugh. Why couldn't our school hire a hot nurse who could talk about sex with out always fiddling with her tacky glasses from 1952? I mean no one wants to listen to Mrs. Kent talk about a penis penetrating a vagina? Ha Mrs. Cunt… No harm meant its just what we called her. _

_Rob passed me a note and tucked his out grown hair behind his ear -which was now at his shoulder, he thought he looked hot but whatever I won't burst his bubble- and thrust the shred of folded paper at me. _

'_Haha check out Mrs. Cunt she's squirming! : O oh my god, wait 'til she gets to the part where she takes out the banana and puts a dinky Condon on it : P' _

_I read his note suppressing a laugh with difficulty and got daggers shot at me by Newton… What a noob! He probably doesn't know what sex is that's why he's paying so much attention. That or he likes seeing women in their mid-forties put condoms on bananas…? Hey whatever pops your tart buddy._

_I wrote back quickly to Rob…_

'_Yo man this class is making me sick do you think I could get out and just sit in my car?... And what makes you think she's gonna do that banana thing? Oh god never mind! EWWWWW! She's eyeing it like a fuckin' 10 inch penis! Check out mike he's staring at Mrs. Cunt like he does to Jessica!'_

_I felt sick looking at him. Gross… Lauren looked back at me when I passed Rob the note. She snickered to her friends, Angela, Jessica, Tanya and Victoria. Ugh vomit in my mouth much? Why do all of the girls think I'm gay? Was it because they thought I wouldn't shove my dick in their bacteria festering vaginas? Yeah well, I'm not a man whore and I don't want to date all of the floosies of this town! Jeez…_

_The only girl I want is Isabella Swan. Sigh. Where is she by the way? Hmm. I hope she's not sick. It would really suck if she was. Then again it would give me an excuse to drop by her house with a tub of ice-cream and a chick flick that we could watch. Wow. Calm down there cowboy no need to grow a pussy! God that girls' got the right stuff. _**(A/N: k I'm so sorry but I had to do it I needed the New Kids on the Block reference please forgive me. Edward is just cultured when it comes to his music! They're my idols –Ali Edward Cullen :P)**

_Angela just looked down when Lauren started snickering with the girls, they looked like crazed hyenas. Poor Angela she seemed to just hate those girls but was just afraid to get out while she's still able. Oh well. _

_Rob picked up the note and was pissing himself with laughter! He started to bang his fists on the desk and threw his head back in hysterics! I guess he noticed mike._

"_Is there a problem boy?" Mrs. Kent looked pissed._

"_No ma'am just that my buddy Cullen, over here just told me a funny joke about how Newton was checking you out!" He glanced sideways toward me with an evil glint in his beady little eyes._

_I was frozen and my face got hot all the way to my ears. Shit I was blushing!_

_He put another ripped piece of paper In front of me and I looked down to read it._

'_I guess you'll be able to go outside the class and listen to music in your car for the rest of the class :D'_

_What a fucktard!_

_Mrs. Cunt pointed to the door for me to get the hell out._

_I looked back at Rob and slapped him backside the head… "Jack off!" I whisper/yelled. Yeah that'll teach the bastard._

_I got up from my chair screeching it across the cheap linoleum floors to make a point that I was pissed off. As I stormed out of class I saw Newton stick out his foot attempting to trip me but was co-ordinately challenged and slipped out of his chair needing to hold on to his desk for dear life so he wouldn't land flat on his flabby ass. _

_I snickered as did the rest of the class and left. I walked back through the hall towards the vending machine to get a water bottle when something came flying into me at full force._

_Next thing I knew I was on the floor lying on my back. I looked up dizzy and unsure of what I was seeing. An angel maybe…? My vision cleared up and I could see that it was the magnificent Bella Swan. Sigh._

"_Holy Jesus! Ah shit I'm so sorry I didn't mean to I swear I was just running late to class and I didn't see you and I was looking at the class door and I didn't see you and I was late." Wow isn't she just lovely to stare at when she's all flustered? And those cheeks so pink, so pure. Jeez was I whipped. _

_Isabella Swan, the girl of my dreams, the sex kitten in my bed (In my dreams), the kinda girl who is clumsy but is sexy at the same time. Yup, and she wasn't mine._

"_S'ok, no blood no foul" She looked up at me while retrieving her papers that were strewn across the hall._

"_Ha! Yeah um blood… Yeah uh..- thank god for that huh?" She stuttered_

"_Thank god for what?" Did I hit my head that hard or was she just making me loose my train of thought? Oh well it doesn't matter I'll just stare while she rambles about something unimportant…_

"_Thank god there was no blood…" She looked annoyed or irritated after stating the obvious. I wonder if I smelt bad or something…_

"_Oh yeah that's good, but it wouldn't be a big deal if there was. I mean its just blood, doesn't bother me too much." Crap I'm rambling; she has super powers I swear!_

"_I wasn't talking about you Cullen," Yup she was annoyed. I like it. "I can't stand blood!" She cringed looking too cute._

"_Seriously? Ha that's funny!" I was trying to get on her nerves. Irritable Bella was always my favourite mood for her. It suited her._

"_Yes seriously! I don't find that funny at all! Blood has a smell to it, it smells like salt and metal but looks like red corn syrup and yuck I can't stand it." Her nose crinkled as she said this shaking her head with her shoulders tensed and arms stuck to her sides._

"_Well you need it to live. Sooo, you surely do stand it." I said this in a smug manner just to rub her the wrong way._

"_Okay smart ass just shut up and let me get too class!" Hmmmm what a sexy vixen. I swear I was creaming at the sight of her chest heaving up and down as she took ragged breaths and the way her hair was all out of place. And that blush was simply adorable._

"_Bye! Have fun in sex-Ed!" I yelled over my shoulder with a stupid grin on my face. She looked back positively enraged and I wish I could've stayed in class I could have looked at the back of her head for twenty five more minutes. Instead I took my water bottle from the slot and jogged to my car._

_Once inside I turned on the radio and popped in my CD Rob got me last Christmas. 'Garbage' What kind of guy doesn't like 'Garbage' it consisted of a hot girl who danced quite provocatively and sang with a great presence. _

_You're such a delicate boy  
In the hysterical realm  
Of an emotional landslide  
In physical terms_

_Hahhhhh…. 'Cherry Lips' blasted out of the speakers. I looked out the window and the sky was a milky grey colour. Not my personal favourite to be honest. It started to rain as usual and I leaned my head back against the head-rest._

_With your cherry lips and golden curls  
You could make grown men gasp  
When you'd go walking past them  
In your hot pants and high heels  
They could not believe  
That such a body was for real  
It seemed like rainbows would appear  
Whenever you came near the clouds would disappear  
Because you looked just like a girl  
Your baby blues would flash  
And suddenly a spell was cast_

_I hummed along with the song as sleep took over and the song was the background music in my dream._

_You hold a candle in your heart  
You shine the light on hidden parts  
You make the whole world wanna dance  
You bought yourself a second chance_

_It was a pleasant dream I've played over and over again in my head always ending the same way. I was lying in bed with Bella, we were both but naked spooning under the white silk sheets and whispering 'I love yous' to each other. Then it always stopped with an immediate interruption of my alarm clock. Except this time I just kept sleeping._

_Go Baby Go Go  
We're right behind you  
Go baby Go Go  
Yeah we're looking at you  
Go baby Go Go  
Aw we're right behind you  
Go Baby  
Go Baby  
Yeah we're looking at you  
Go_

_END FLASHBACK_

Jacob opened the door to the class to let the sex-Ed teachers in and I immediately froze. That inky short, wild hair I recognized anywhere. That tall blonde with legs for miles was very familiar. Alice and Rosealie! I remember them; they were best friends with Bella Swan. I wonder if she's going to be here. If she is then I really regret not shaving this morning! Crap!

Well she hasn't arrived yet, so I guess she won't be coming at all. _Ha! In your face, lousy timing._

As soon as I said those words in my head a brunet pushed a television on a huge rolling platform through the door. It was too high to see her face but I could see her hips swaying. Yummy, that'll keep my mind off of the Isabella Swan.

Well it can't be Bella. No one should trust her with such a huge T.V. set. I mean she's a danger magnet.

Well whoever it was they just lost their footing. Her stiletto boots were wet from outside. I heard a loud _SQUEAK! _And the girl was about to fall.

Trusty Jacob came to the rescue –Which by the way he only does when a gorgeous woman is involved- and caught her under her arms before her butt touched the floor.

Wow she looks familiar…?

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**So did you like it? Let us know and I'll get back to you for sure! :D**

**REVIEW PLAESE!!!!! WE ANSWER BACK 'CAUSE WE'RE COOL LIKE THAT :O**

**-Ali Edward Cullen 3 **


	4. Chapter 3

**Hay guys so this is chappy 3 or 4 wtv you want to call it :P Um so we have exams all week starting monday and as we speak 4Evr93 is writing a chappy right now so that will be posted either tomorrow or sometime this weekend or next week. Sorry if it comes out next week but yeah education education education :P So ya on my profile I have links on youtube for references if you want to check them out they are just the songs we've been using so yeah! And again if anyone has suggestions for the story PLEASE let us know we would be happy to incoporate some of the fans' ideas :D Happy reading!**

_Trusty Jacob came to the rescue –Which by the way he only does when a gorgeous woman is involved- and caught her under her arms before her butt touched the floor._

_Wow she looks familiar…?_

BPOV

I turned back immediately after the boy opened the door. We had forgotten the television set.

I noticed the loud whispers from the students even from the closet where I was getting the exceptionally old TV and VCR. I sighed and braced myself, this was going to be rough, I could tell. Not the teaching about sex part, but the part where I would have to control the raging teenagers of the class.

Normally, Rosalie was very strict and I would ask her to apply some discipline…But I doubted anyone would take her seriously in those eight inch heals and miniskirt.

_Why does she always insist on wearing things that are so…unprofessional? _I asked myself exasperatedly. _I guess Alice could take care of it…I really hate yelling._

I was devising ways to shut the kids up when I walked into the classroom- with much difficulty, the TV was freaking heavy!- when, of course, I very ungracefully tripped and began to fall. I kept my mouth shut, knowing that if I screamed I would draw more attention to myself. I simply closed my eyes and braced myself for the pain that was about to be inflicted on my butt.

Surprisingly the pain didn't come. The first thing that crossed my mind was,

_Oh God! I fucking broke my spine. Shit! _

But then I noticed that two, very big hands **(Hahaha. Cough cough…Ok sorry. –Stef Cullen)** were holding me up.

I caught my breath and thanked the boy, Jacob.

"No problemo," he winked. I couldn't help smiling back.

"Jacob, please go back to your seat," the same sexy voice called from the desk. Jacob smiled again and turned to go sit down.

The class began to produce immature sounds like ooouhhh and yummy and Jakey's got a giirrrl friieeend. _So pre-adolescent_. _Oh well._

I took the opportunity to ask Rosalie if anyone had seen my slight mishap.

She smirked, and pointed to the teacher's desk. _OH great!_

I looked at Alice who looked nervous… _What the hell was the matter with them?_

Rosalie, looking quite devious turned towards the desk,

"Hi Mr. Cullen! You remember me right? And Alice?"

_No way. No effing way! _

I peaked around the TV and saw Edward Cullen, beautiful, godlike Edward Cullen who had just seen me fall.

_Run Bella! Maybe he'll think you were the janitor or something bringing in the TV! _

"Yes of course," he smiled. I almost tripped again. Thank god I wasn't wearing a skirt today for more than one reason. If I fall he'd get a full flash for free…Well, not that I'd mind but still. And I didn't shave my legs! It was the perfect day to wear slacks.

"Great!" Rose grinned. She turned and winked at me. _No Rose! Please! No!_ I begged in my head, praying that we had some sort of telepathy.

She turned back to Edward,

"That means you remember Isabella, Isabella Swan." She is getting a beating when we get home I swear!

"Uh…Just Bella" I stammered like a goat.

"I remember… Bella" He said with that marvelous crooked grin. _Sigh. _

**EPOV**

_HOLLY %#(!($!)#)!(#($(!#$#KFC!!!!!_

**BPOV**

I crept out from behind the colossal TV set. I needed to think _confidence._

At first I couldn't speak, I could feel my face flushing. When I finally found my voice it came out high and squeaky- _mmm attractive._-

"Nice too see you again Ed- Mr. Cullen"

"You're not my student," He said with a sexy chuckle, "we went to school together. Just, Edward" he replied, still smiling. I was frozen, starring at his perfect face.

Alice skipped up next to me and nudged me hard- but discretely-in the hip (she couldn't reach my ribs).

I slowly regained "consciousness" and turned, wide eyed, to face the class of teenagers who had all stopped talking and were all looking at us quizzically.

"Hi everyone," Rosalie began, "I'm Rosalie, that's Alice. And this is Bella. We'll be your sexual education teachers for this term."

"No shit!" someone called from the back of the class. Some of the girls broke out into giggles.

"Hey! Watch it kid –I swear…!" I covered Rose's mouth before she could get arrested.

"Quiet please." Edward asked politely. They all obliged, well that took care of our discipline problem.

"What the hell was that? They shut up for him but not me? Hmpf" Rose whispered to me irritated.

Alice took over, "This term, you'll be learning about the changes that are going on in your body. But today, we're going to talk to you about the basics, the reproductive system."

I knew that at that point it was my turn to talk, but I had given up on that idea, as soon as I realized Edward Cullen was sitting right there!

Rose sighed and continued, "So first and far most. Where do babies come from?"

The class began to laugh. Edward cleared his throat. "Quiet!"

A girl in the back raised her hand,

"Yes?" Rose said.

"They come from, a…ahem…egg…and" she turned bright red.

"Sperm" Alice finished. The girl nodded and put her head on the desk.

"Now, where do those- we call them reproductive cells- come from?"

The class went dead quiet. Rose looked annoyed,

"Let's get this straight. Ok? This is a sex-Ed course; I do not want anyone being a prude while we are here. I expect everyone to participate full heartedly. Are we clear?"

The teenagers nodded. Alice was biting her lip trying not to laugh. Rose crossed her arms, and looked as though she refused to talk. I had to take over.

I took a deep breath "Ok I need a male volunteer," a boy with freckles and curly orange hair raised his hand.

"You please, come up" he looked unsure, but finally stood up.

"Now, do you know where your uterus is?" I asked, the boy looked confused.

"Erm…"

I glanced at Edward who was chuckling very quietly.

"Go on, guess." The boy pointed to his stomach.

"Wrong," I said. The students began to giggle. He pointed to his arm. I shook my head. Then he pointed to his mouth. Haha.

"Wrong again, you don't have a uterus. You may sit down." He looked embarrassed.

"Don't worry," Alice said, "Almost 48% of boys think they have a uterus, and 59% have no clue where it is." Professional Alice was so cute!

I was into it now, so I stepped in.

"The cells come from organs in our bodies. The male organ- I should say organs- are called testes."

Giggles. Rose looked as though she was going to kill someone.

"Immature little brats" she hissed under her breath while going to get a poster from her bag.

"And the female organ is called a _uterus_."

As I said this Rose was standing in front of the chalk board and pulled down the projector sheet at light speed and taped a laminated poster of a uterus on it.

Alice froze and I chuckled at her pissed stance. Wow the discipline issue really got to her head…

"Forgive her, she likes being in control." Alice said holding her shaking core. "And not just in the classroom, in the bedr-"

"Shove it Alice." She sneered. "It's not the control," She looked like she could rip off that smart ass' head at the back of the class. "These little cretins you call teenagers are worse than how we were!" She shrieked. "_'No Shit!'_" She mimicked the smart ass' remark in a whine-y voice.

"What is your problem kid? You wanna know how to do _it_ when you grow a pair?" She thrust her hips at the mention of the word, '_it_'. "Or do you wanna get left in a changing room at the beach party with no clothes because you didn't know what was happening to your manhood?!…Thought your penis was going to explode when it turned red?" She was fuming! "You will be ashamed of yourself for not listening in sexual education class." She said with a tone of pure disgust… Heaven forbid he misses the part about his penis turning red. Poor kids.

Well that shut him up…

"Uh Rose…? They may be worse than us, but you're being worse than Mrs. Cunt!" Alice yelled back. "And if you don't stop yelling we're going to get fired so _zip it!_" Her hands were balled up into little fists and her body was leaning over a desk looking like a hungry dog.

I looked back at Edward who was just pinching the bridge of his nose in lala land. Someone had too many assignments to correct last night.

"What's a Cunt?" We burst out laughing including Edward, and all was well in Forks High…

And so went the class, us asking them questions and explaining how babies are made, **(Dirty Details for latterrrr –S-)** the reason why Rose was so forced… It was her time of the month.

Then we showed them a weird- and for me to say weird, is something- video on yes, penetration.

The bell finally rang, the students stood up and pretty much ran out of the room. Were we really that bad? I looked at Rose and Alice, they looked as shocked as I did, we all shrugged.

"Don't worry about it." Jacob was still collecting his books, "We always leave in a hurry… It's like tradition you know?" He said this indifferently.

"Oh," I said.

He walked up to me, "You're a really great teacher," he smiled his toothy grin.

"Erm…Thanks." Was he _flirting_ with me? _Oh dear lord_!

"I can't wait until next class,"

"That's great Jacob." I was trying to be polite, but I think he took it the wrong way.

"I learned a lot," _Bull shit!_ I smiled. At this point Rose and Alice were almost killing themselves with effort to not break out into hysterics.

"You'll be here next week right? To teach the class?" Ok this was getting out of hand; I needed to think of something quick. He was taking all my body language the wrong way.

"Um well actually…" I hesitated, "We're splitting up the girls and the boys."

"Oh well that's fine as long as you're teaching the boys"

I bit my lip, "Um actually…We're getting my erm… My Cousin, yeah, Cousin Emmett to come in and model for slash teach the boys."

He looked utterly dismayed.

"Oh…Ok then… Well I'll see you later…" he mumbled "Bye Alice…Bye Blondie."

Rosalie's mouth dropped open in shock. I couldn't help but laugh the minute he left the room. We all began to laugh, even Edward who was still sitting at his desk.

I glanced at him, his laugh was…Breathtaking. When we had finished giggling, a crooked smile crossed his wondrous lips. I gripped the TV stand to make sure I wouldn't jump him. There was an awkward silence.

"I'm going to bring back the TV." Rosalie said and took off.

It was just me and Alice now. Alice's eyes widened.

"I…Um…I…" she looked at me for help, I shrugged… "Have to take a shit." She clamped her mouth closed in disbelief.

I shot her a look. She ran out, leaving me alone with Edward. We stood there, not saying anything. I stared at the ground concentrating on my no jumping him strategy.

Finally he spoke, "I appreciate you coming here today…"

"No problem" –nervous laugh- "It's great to see you again."

"Yes, it is." His expression was strange, like he was concentrating very hard on something.

"I saw Robert downstairs…" I said

He chuckled, "It's practically like a high school reunion."

I laughed.

"Sorry about Jacob by the way." He grinned.

"Oh, haha…It's no problem," I muttered, blushing.

"I bet you get that a lot though right?"

"Sorry?"

"Oh…Um nothing." He looked flustered, as he ran his hand through his hair, "Well I

have to go…You know correcting and stuff needs to get done before it gets too late, I'm meeting up with my friends later tonight… I'll see you next week?"

"Ok! Yeah!" I said this sounding a bit too enthusiastic.

"Have a nice rest of the day." He smiled a huge smile at me.

"You too,"

And with that he swiftly left the room, books and papers in hand.

I sat in his chair, feeling its warmth. Running my hands lightly up and down the arm rests. I inhaled; his scent was still surrounding the desk. I closed my eyes, imagining what it would be like to kiss him, every part of him, to feel his hand riding up my skirt, gently touching my sensitive spot… How he would cry out my name in pleasure. 'Bella! Oh Bella. Yes…-Hmm… You're so wet for me! Jesus… Ughh yes!'

'Oh Edward! I need you… Now!' We were panting and nothing really happened in the dream yet only fondling. Yup it was hot. _Exhilarating_ I guess you can say…

I was in a very intense part of my daydream, when I heard a knock at the door. I opened my eyes, he was standing there.

At first I thought that this was going to be a total fairy tale moment, where he comes back and tells me that he wants me right there, right then. I was prepared.

"I'm sorry Bella; I uh...I have to lock the door…"

_Fuck my life. _

"Oh right sorry." I said, and got up and scurried towards Rose and Alice.

"Bye again," he smiled that crooked smile.

"Bye" I pretty much whimpered and left the room.

***

Alice and Rose were waiting at the entrance shaking with anticipation of to hear the tale of _'The Sex That Could've Been!'_.

"You said WHAT?!" Rosalie roared with laughter. Alice was bright pink.

"You took the good excuse and I…I... Just said what you would have said…"

"True…But come on Alice that's ridiculous!"

I joined in the giggles.

"So how'd it go?" Alice asked, making her eyebrows dance.

"Ok…" I grumbled.

"That bad?"

"He didn't fuck me on the desk…" I whined in a cry-baby sort of way. Yeah I'm pathetic.

"WHAT?!" they both yelled. I began to laugh again. It sounded really stupid when you think of it; I mean he was gay after all…

_Don't freak out, he's not actually gay... Rob is…but not him. Haha. _I thought.

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**So yeah I hope you guys liked it let us know again if you have suggestion!!!!! Also RxR!**


	5. Chapter 4

**Okhey guys!!!! Twilighters whatever we call ourselves :S So yes this is a chappy that we promised before the exam crunch week and all that jazz! So we will post the next chappy as soon as exams are done which is probably friday or thursday! So just hang tough with us! (haha hangin' tough... New kids on the block.... again!) Ya I'm retarded like that and I think I have ADHD but wh knows my mom refuses to get me tested so I take it out on my writing :P Well we all have our problems... Stefania is sooooo bored at this party shes at when she should be studying! like what the hell she should be grateful her parents are letting her go to this shindig and drink wine! And steff is like I don't know sleeping over at our friend Jess' house for the night and I'm the only one who's been studying and also she has crazyspazz attacks at the people she loves and this is portrayed in Bella in todays chappy! :D HAHAHA Have fun and I hope stefania and Steff don't track me down and kill me for revealing their plans for tonight... **

**Ou! I almost forgot! Shout-out to shae. love ya she told me the funniest thing bout how we always leave a cliffy and so shes like you guys should make it like a soap opera like "Next time on SexEdward.....dun dun dun!" and I'm like ya fo shiz! lol wow soya shout-out :D **

**Previously on SexEdward...... Bella and Rose and Alice were at fork's high and taught the boys that they don't have a Uterus.... Poor guys. Ya HAPPY READING!**

**LET'S ROLE!**

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Chapter 4

**RPOV**

"He didn't fuck me on the desk…" Bella whined in a cry baby sort of way.

"WHAT?!" I yelled simultaneously with Alice.

I always knew she didn't get over her little high school crush, and by the looks of it Edward hadn't either. _I don't think her boyfriend Mike could bang her as well as Edward could_.

We started talking about what we could do for the next class, when I saw Edward coming from the teachers' lounge. Bella and Alice's backs were turned towards him so they didn't see him and I decided I would use it to my advantage.

"Do you think Emmett would want to come next week and help?" Bella asked for the second time, looking at me with annoyance in her eyes.

"Yeah sure... Um... So, what do you guys want to do tonight?" I said while eyeing Edward, who could obviously over hear us.

"Uhmm... way to change subjects but yeah I don't know," Alice said, looking at me weirdly.

Edward was about to pass us, when I quickly pushed Alice and Bella aside: "Why don't we ask Edward what he's doing!" I put a hand on his pecks to stop him. "Hey Eddie, what are you doing tonight?" _Whoa does he work out?_

"It's _Edward, _Rosalie…"He said emphasising his name, "and it's only 2 o'clock so I have some correcting to do but later on tonight I'm going out to this club with my friends Emmett and Jasper", he looked a bit confused.

Bella suddenly jumped in front of me, "Emmett what? What's his last name? Oh my god what's his name!?!" She started yelling like a nut case. _Geez what is with this girl today?_

"McCartey!" Edward practically yelled, attempting to over power her voice.

"OMG THAT'S MY COUSIN!!! What a small world," she started laughing. Then, probably realising how stupid she looked, she slowly backed away extremely embarrassed.

"So anyways..." I said while giving Bella the evil eye, "What club are you going to, maybe we'll join." I smiled.

Bella gasped and clenched her fists, obviously not liking the idea of going clubbing with Edward while she still had a boyfriend.

"Forever young, if you guys want to join us you can…" Well it's about time he invited us. _Gosh._

"Great, I know where it is. We'll meet you there at 8?"

"Uhh sure." He said, probably just wanting to leave.

"K sounds good."

I was actually really excited to finally get out with a different bunch of people.

He started walking off when suddenly he turned to face us, "By the way my friend Jasper got a gig there, he's in the band playing the guitar and Emmett is one of the bartenders but he only gets off his shift around 8:45pm." He turned to the door and left.

**BPOV**

Did Rosalie actually just do that? Did she actually just invite herself out to go clubbing with Edward Cullen? _WHAT THE FUCK WAS SHE THINKING! _And since when is Emmett bartending?

"What the hell was that about Rose?!"

"Oh, like you weren't getting all wet from him being that close to you. I was just doing what you wanted to do but are too chicken to do." She said in a matter of fact-ly tone. I blushed.

"Yeah... well... Whatever! Let's go!" I walked through the doors and stomped to the car. _I hate it when Rosalie's right! _Rose and Alice were practically running behind me to keep up.

Rose insisted on driving so, quite resentfully, I climbed into the passenger seat. Alice got into the back seat.

We drove for a while.

"Hey Alice? Is everything okay?" I asked wondering why she had been so quiet.

Her lips spread into a huge goofy smile and she began to mumble incoherently: "He's in a band... Jasper... He's in a band... Wow, I think I'm in love. You know how I like my musicians... Guitar is like…. Really, really hot" She said emphasizing the 'H' in hot.

"Alice you haven't even met the guy, how can you be in love with him?" Rose said, rolling her eyes.

"No offence Alice but what if he ends up being this total freak who smells like bear, has a pot belly and has calloused fingers from his guitar?" I asked, crinkling my nose in disgust.

"NO way! I have a feeling he's perfect. And plus who says callused fingers are gross? I think it's sexy and rough. Well yes literally rough but… I don't know masculine…? Oh, I can't wait until tonight. Rose we get to do Bella's hair and makeup!" She squealed in delight. "And we should go to the mall to get some new outfits!"

Rose suddenly made a sharp turn and yelled, "Good idea Alice! I could totally use a relaxing shopping trip!"

"Great... Couldn't you guys like drop me off at home or something? You know my size in everything, and you know how I hate shopping!" I really did hate shopping. I mean I could just wear something I already have. I just never saw the point in having to buy a new outfit for every event.

"Bella, you are going whether we have to drag you in there or not. Is that clear?" I nodded in defeat. "Good, thank you." Rose was beaming as was Alice. She had always insisted on literally dragging me everywhere, ever since we were kids…

I let out a sigh, knowing I wasn't going to win this and went to turn on the radio in the car. All of a sudden we heard the wonderful guitar riff playing Tom Petty's 'Free Fallin''.

We all looked to each other smiling, knowing the car ride was suddenly going to get exciting and loud.

_She's a good girl, loves her mama__  
__loves Jesus and America too__  
__She's a good girl, crazy 'bout Elvis__  
__loves horses and her boyfriend too_

Alice started us off with her little voice. She insisted to always sing this part because of her adoration of Elvis.

_  
__It's a long day, livin' in Reseda__  
__there's a freeway, runnin' through the yard__  
__and I'm a bad boy, 'cause I don't even miss her__  
__I'm a bad boy for breakin' her heart_

This part was always Rose's part she always got the accent perfect and made us all burst out laughing._All the vampires, walkin' through the valley__  
__Move west down, Ventura Blvd.__  
__And all the bad boys, are standing in the shadows__  
__All the good girls, are home with broken hearts__And I'm free, I'm free fallin'__  
__Yeah I'm free, free fallin'_

We belted out the 'free fallin'' part all together. I always sang this part of the song because Rose and Alice always say I'm most likely to fall in love with a vampire. Not seriously but since I watched 'Dracula Dead and Loving' It' countless times, I was most deserving of this!_And I'm free, free fallin'__  
__Yeah I'm free, free fallin'__And I'm free, free fallin'__  
__Oh!__Free fallin'__  
__And I'm free, oh! Free fallin'_

We all sang at the top of our lungs, not caring of how stupid we all looked from the outside in.

The song ended as we were driving into the parking lot of the mall. All our moods were on high now and the shopping trip suddenly didn't look so bad.

***

2 hours, 5 shopping bags and $200 later, we were heading back home to get ready for tonight. We got home and we each went to our rooms to shower.

Before I did anything I called my boyfriend Mike, just to check in.

"Hey, what's up babe?" I asked.

"Oh! Uhh... Ahem… Hi gorgeous!" He sounded kind of weird. Just like how he sounded after a good long screw... He must have been working out…

"Just wanted to know how your day is going so far."

"Yeah. Mmm... Yeah it's good. Listen can I call you later...I'm a kind of… Um... busy right now. Okay? Great. Bye." He hung up.

_Well that was weird. He's never sounded so…Busy… Well, yeah, probably just doing some weight lifting I guess. Well I'll talk to him later then._ _At least he's making use out of those weights I got him last Christmas._ I thought to myself.

I jumped in the shower, letting the hot water message my neck and back, relieving all the stress I had pent up inside. I thought about my day and realised it was eventful. I woke up this morning thinking it would be just another day doing my insane job as a sex-Ed teacher, but then Rosalie turned into a ninja for 5 minutes, Alice peed herself, we had a mini high school reunion, _and now I'm getting ready to go on a date with Edward Cullen._ My train of thought stopped dead.

_Whoa a date? No. I can't even call it that, it's not right! Get a hold of yourself Isabella Swan! No I can't he's gay Bella. And you have a boyfriend. That you will eventually fall in love with…_

"EVERYONE IN THE LIVING ROOM IN 5 MINUTES IT'S TIME TO DO BELLA'S HAIR AND MAKE UP!!" Alice yelled from outside.

It was a tradition that we do each others hair and makeup before going out. Well it's usually ends up Rose doing hair and Alice doing makeup. Somehow between the curling and the mascara they get ready themselves. I quickly slipped into my underwear and tank top and made my way to the living room.

As soon as I reached for the door knob of my room door. I heard it. My favourite song of life.

_I__don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation__  
__You're living in the past it's a new generation__  
__A girl can do what she wants to do and that's__  
__What I'm gonna do__  
__An' I don't give a damn ' bout my bad reputation_

I opened my door and saw Alice putting the volume higher and higher bobbing her head like a true Joan Jett, until the apartment was vibrating with the song. I jumped out of my room and started shaking my head and kicking my feet along with Rosalie.

Alice was standing on the coffee table with a brush in her hand, singing at the top of her lungs, also in her underwear. Rose and I were holding the hairdryers as if they were guns and sliding on the wood floors with tube socks on while screaming the lyrics._I don't give a damn__  
__'Bout my bad reputation__  
__I've never been afraid of any deviation__  
__An' I don't really care__  
__If ya think I'm strange__  
__I ain't gonna change__  
__An' I'm never gonna care__  
__'Bout my bad reputation__Oh no, not me__  
__Oh no, not me__Pedal boys!_

The song was slowly coming to an end and we went to sit on the chairs to get ready, however still singing and bopping our heads._I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation__  
__You're living in the past__  
__It's a new generation__  
__An' I only feel good__  
__When I got no pain__  
__An' that's how I'm gonna stay__  
__An' I don't give a damn__  
__'Bout my bad reputation__Oh no, not me__  
__Oh no, not__  
__Not me, not me_

When we settled down, we did our hair and makeup. Rose had straitened and teased her hair, which made it look even longer and voluminous. Alice did her usual spiky hair-do with her special cherry pomade. I had my hair half in a clip giving it a pompadour, and the ends were curled.

Rose's make up was simple but awesome as usual. Alice went wild with pink and black shadow and contoured her cheek bones to look edgier than ever… She probably wants to leave an impression on this Jasper character. And my makeup was just exquisite! Alice put dabs of gold on my eye lids and on the fringe of my eye lashes she added black that faded up and out towards my eye brows.

"Okay girls, we meet here in the living room in 15 minutes ready to go." Rose was giving us last minute instructions, then Alice and I nodded heading towards our rooms.

15 minutes later, Alice, Rose and I were all dolled up and ready to go.

"Come on girls, lets role." I said excitedly, "We don't want to keep _the boys _waiting." I giggled as did they. Tonight I'm enjoying myself, _Mike set aside_.

Alice and Rose took sideways glances towards me and I could see mischievous glints in their eyes…_They are so up to something._

**So yeah watcha think?... So yes as we've said before reviews make us happy and we always respond and also reviews make us happy therefore we write faster and better...**COUGH COUGH!** RxR!**

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	6. Sorry

**Hey guys! So I'm so sorry for doing this to you and getting your hopes up I just wanted to let you know the chappy will be a little bit late. Not too late don't fret :P**

**Um it might be coming out tomorrow or late late late tonight... Featured word, MIGHT!(ha ha I'm quoting Buffy!)**

**So we are going through a rough time with life recently and things are needed to be sorted through with loved ones who need our support at the moment.**

**Also I uploaded this A/N because I don't like it when the chapter rectangular thingy always says like... 5. Chapter 4**

**So now its going to be corresponding for now on.**

**Again sorry for not having the chappy out very soon we just i exams yesterday afternoon and I (Ali Edward Cullen) only finished the chappy now so we need to get that proofed and edited by the girls.**

**So yeah stay with us we will not give up so neither can you!**

**-Ali Edward Cullen**


	7. Chapter 5

**Hey guys I promised a chappy update by saturday night and yes we made it!!! WHOOP!!!!**

**Okay... Clarifications: Edward and Bella are not virgins they are sexual...(joke in this chapter about being sexual BTW u will laugh...I hope!) Um yes not very often have they had sex I mean it was always a fling and they hadn't had sex more then like a couple times not too much because they were never in love.**

**So I hope you like it and READ AND REVIEW!**

**Thank you so much to those who have comforted us with our complications with loved ones it was greatly appreciated you don't know how much it means to have people supporting us.**

**You guys are awesome! Stay awesome and enjoy :)**

**RXR PLEASE!**

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Chapter 5

**EPOV**

So Rose decided to invite herself, the pixie along with the love of my life to the club tonight. _Great, I have to shave._

The drive home was boring and the rain was getting on my nerves. What else was new?

I turned the stereo on and my Jack's Mannequin CD was already in. I switched the song to 'Dark Blue'. I sighed; the lights were yellow I decided that I was going to burn it. Knowing I was going to see Bella tonight was providing me with an adrenaline rush. I kind of liked it. Somehow I got through the light but shortly after was seeing blue and red lights flashing behind me. _Shit!_

I pulled over and rolled down the windows to find an officer poking his head in.

"Is there a problem sir?"

"Sorry son, but I'm going to have to see your licence and registration please."

"What did I do?"

"Well you burnt the red light. Don't tell me you didn't know."

"I thought it was still yellow…" I said this feigning pure innocence,_maybe he'll let me off the hook_, I hoped. I looked at his name tag to address him in a more formal manner, soften him up a tad. "Listen officer… Uh Swan…?" _Whoa Swan? Oh yeah! That's right Bella's dad was chief police. Hey this could work out for me…!_

"Yes?"

"Hey! Do you have a daughter?" I asked a bit too brightly.

"And why would that concern _you_?" He said bringing his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose looking quite puzzled and irritated.

"Well I know this girl, Bella Swan and we uhh, we went to the same high school and –uh. Ummm she –uh works with me." My lips twisted into a smile unsurely.

"Well I'll be! You know my 'lil Bells?" He looked pleased. "Well isn't that something… Small world." He said whispering that last part.

"No sir, it's Forks" I said darkly, but then added a hearty chuckle, not wanting to seem unfriendly.

"Well look um…" He looked at my license. "…Cullen, I'll let you off the hook this time but I don't want to be hearing from my buddies down at the station saying they caught an, Edward Cullen." He looked like he was trying to be strict. "Am I clear?"

"Yes sir. Crystal!" I flashed him a toothy grin. "No more speeding. I swear it." I said with one hand on my chest and the other face up next to my ear as if I was at court.

"Ha! Good, good. I'm glad to hear it." He chuckled. "Now you drive safe."

"Yes chief, oh and let Bella I said 'Hi!' I added, in case she didn't want him knowing she was going out to a club. _She may be 23 years old but he looks like a hard ass._

"I sure will." And with that he waved and walked back to his cruiser.

"Score!" I yelled. I looked back in the rear view mirror to make sure he hadn't heard me. Thank god he didn't…

* * *

I got home at 2:45pm. I went to the fridge to get an apple.

I walked to my room and stopped dead in my tracks while passing the bathroom, to find my lovely _girlfriend_, Irina waxing her -um… Vagina. She was stirring the wax and was sitting on the bath tub ready to apply the sticky gold substance.

"Jesus Irina what the hell! How did you get in?"

"Oh! Hey Eddie-poo!" I hated that name. "I picked the lock why? Something wrong?"

"Um no don't worry… Just don't get that shit on my bathroom floor." Ugh gross.

"Sure thing, _sexy_!" Ew! She was trying to sound appealing in that nasally voice but I wanted to hurl.

I shut the bathroom door and ran to my room. I put on a pair of sweats and took off my shirt. I admired my abs in the mirror, and then flexed my arms. I couldn't help but suppress a smile, I couldn't deny it, I was pretty hot.

"Oh Eddie…?" She called from in the bathroom. _What does she want now? She better not want me to wax her I swear I'll just walk out to my patio and throw myself over the balcony into the streets. _I thought in horror.

"Yes Irina?" I made a point to sound annoyed.

"Could you come here for a sec? I need your help."

_Shit fuck_. I was going to vomit in my mouth! I reluctantly walked to the still closed door of the bathroom.

"What is it?" She opened the door still naked from the waist down looking at me one hand on the door handle and the other holding the jar of wax.

I covered my eyes. _Has she no shame?!_

"Haha! Silly you've seen it all before, you can look." She laughed trying to be humorous about the whole situation. Yeah sure we had sex but it was more like she raped me…

Technically it wasn't exactly rape... Irina and I met at her sister Tanya's wedding. She gave the waiter her key card to her hotel and told him to bring it to me on his champagne platter. I was obviously forced to take it by my wonderful best friend Jasper.

Later that evening we had some drinks and we slept together. I was not fully aware of the situation I mean she made me drink like a fish and soon my world was incredibly blurry and she was surprisingly gorgeous after 7 scotches. She kept talking about crap I didn't want to hear and I got bored out of my mind and let the alcohol take over. I took note never to do that again! It got me stuck with her. Sex does not seal the deal kids… Only in Irina's mind…

"Hello…? Earth to Eddie!"

"Oh um sorry what do you want?" She looked annoyed. Well I must have looked pissed.

"So do you want me to do bikini or Brazilian?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Ugh you're such a guy, Cullen." She rolled her eye balls with the purple contacts in them.

"I mean do you want me to wax a bikini line or Brazilian…? You know when you wax everything."

"Oh um yeah I don't really want to know."

"Um, you should. We are a couple and you have slept with me." She looked as if I was willing to sleep with her again.

"We only slept together once, Irina."

"So what, we could have sex tonight if that's what you want. And the next night and the next…" She was beaming at the thought.

"No! No, no, no, no, no!"

"Excuse me?!" She turned a weird shade of purple and I wanted to run. She started taking raged breaths to calm her crazy moods. Before I could pull away she started stroking my chest with her fingers and I cringed away.

"Now Edward. Brazilian or bikini?"

"Neither, I don't care!"

"Well that's just yucky I'm not going all 'au natural'"

"I don't care because we're over!"

"What!" She shrieked. Crap I'm going to die young.

"I said… We. Are. Over!" I said enunciating each word so it would go through her thick skull.

"No we're not! We are not over unless I say we are over! _Am I clear_?" Now that the second time I heard that.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you but NO! WE ARE NOT CLEAR!" I was seething now. "YOU AND I ARE NO LONGER CONSIDERED 'WE'!"

"_We_ are so over!" She yelled as if she said it first. Jesus was she hard headed.

"Damn right _we_are!" I said this smiling. Haha! In your face you frigid bitch!

"UGH! How could you be so insensitive?"

She pulled on her sweats finally and had a fierce look on her face like the vein sticking out on her forehead was going to explode.

"Me? Insensitive? Are you kidding me? You picked my door to wax your fucking vag!"

"I was only doing it for you!" She was huffing and puffing like a kid who didn't get what they wanted.

"We slept together once! And I was DRUNK! You're the insensitive one! You took advantage of me!"

"You are such a pussy!" She sneered at me spitting saliva at me.

"So I'm too sensitive now?" I just wanted a bigger fight to she would leave sooner. "What do you want from me?!"

"Shut you mouth! All I wanted was a happy life and have kids with you but no!"

"Kids?! Is that what this is about? I slept with you once. And I don't even like you, get out of my house before I call he cops and tell them how you broke in!"

"Call the cops? Who the fuck do you think you are? They won't believe you anyway!"

"I happen to be friends with the chief and his _daughter_." Oh, now that set her off.

"So there's someone else. That's why, and I bet she's so much better for you because she's so pure and is a saint and never has sex!"

"That's exactly it Irina. That's why we are over." I was saying all this bull just to make her leave.

"I bet she knows how to treat a man." She looked like she was trying to be sarcastic or something.

"Oh yeah for sure Irina. She doesn't break into my house and she isn't a sleaze who gives random guys her key card!"

"SLEAZE!?!?!?!"

"That's right you are a sleazzzzze!" I said dragging the 'z'.

"I'm not the one who accepted the key card now am I?!"

"FOR THE LAST TIME YOU GOT ME DRUNK!"

And with that she stormed out the door.

_Sigh. _Freedom feels nice.

With that cleared up I jumped into the shower and let the warm mist relax my muscles.

I dried off and finished the bio assignments that needed to be corrected.

I punched the familiar digits of Jaspers number in my phone and waited…

"Hello?"

"Yo man it's me Edward."

"Hey, Edward. What do you need?"

"So some girls are coming to the club to have a couple drinks and watch your band play…" I knew Jasper hated it when women watched him play, he always freaked and his hands would get clammy.

"Not cool Edward, not cool at all!"

"Relax they're friends. One is Emmett's cousin apparently and the other two are cool they went to high school with me."

"They better not be hot or else the band is gonna kill me remember last time Emmett invited his girl friends?" He exhaled and I could tell he was running his hand through his hair. "Five were in the playboy magazine. 2005 fall edition!"

"Haha yeah I remember. These girls are gorgeous, but down to earth so don't stress."

"K whatever just don't wave to me when I'm on stage I don't want to see them until the end when I don't need to play anymore you know how my hands get all sweaty then I slip up on the notes and it all goes to hell in a hand basket." He said this all in one breathe.

I didn't understand Jasper sometimes. He's a great looking guy that any girl will throw herself at he's tall muscular. A musician, he is smart and he understands women's emotions. Now that, I do not understand.

"Yeah don't worry I'll let Emmett know too." I said with a shaky laugh.

"Ok thanks. Hey, is something up?"

"What are you talking about? N-nothing's wrong…" Great I'm stuttering.

"Dude, I can just tell what's going on?"

I explained the whole Irina situation and he was very proud and sorry for making me take the key card last month at the wedding.

Next on the list to call was Emmett.

"Yo."

"Hey Emmett, so I invited 3 girls to come to the club tonight ok?"

"Sweet! K, cool, would I like any of them?"

"Well one is off limits. The other two I don't know"

"Hey not fair you can't call dibs on any until Jasper and I get to meet them! You know the rules."

"Um no I understand but I met them and turns out-" I smelt something burning and I ran to the bathroom in a panic. "Shit! I'll see you at the club Emmett I need to go!"

I hung up and sprinted to the plug where Irina left a curling iron touching my tooth brush. Now I have a semi-melted tooth brush.

Perfect!

***

I arrived at the club to find Emmett shaking some drinks for three girls. I guessed he met them already.

"So, Em. What the hell are you doing here working at a bar?" I joked.

"First tell me why you've never introduced me to your beautiful friends…" He had a silly grin plastered onto his dimpled face.

"Ugh! For the last time you were in Nebraska for God knows what."

"Hey, I was just working."

"Working in Nebraska? Doing what?"

"None of your business!" He rolled his eyes as if his mother was scolding him

They were bickering like siblings now. _She's so adorable when she's pissed._

"Hey guys! So I guess you know why one is off limits right Emmett?" I said appearing behind the girls at the bar, giving them each my best smile.

"Hey man! How's it going?"

"I'm doing ok… How are you ladies tonight?"

"Wonderful!" Bella chirped.

"Fantastic! Emmett really knows his drinks." Said Rose with a wink.

"Buzzed!" Alice laughed and snorted, she covered her mouth with her hands with widened eye.

I chuckled at her exuberance.

"Shh, sh, sh! Jasper's band is going up now! So shut up!" Emmett quieted down the bar area when the Emcee came spoke into the microphone, with a funny little German accent.

"Ladies und gentlemen! Wilcommen! I hope you are having a great time tonight at FOREVERYOUNG!!"

The crowd erupted with cat calls and screams. Emmett of course had his booming voice ready.

"WOO HOO! Yeah! Foreveryoung! Whoop!"

The girls were giggling at his act of craziness. He was looking at Rose the whole time. She caught him smiling at her and looked away towards the girls and immersed herself into the conversation.

Emmett looked like he had a prize to win over as did I. I hope he wouldn't kill me for liking his cousin/almost sister.

"Alright give it up for the band tonight!!!! They are called 'The Romanian Nomads'! Give it up!"

I cupped my hands around my mouth and yelled out some inspiring words to my friend Jasper. "DON'T WORRY MAN, YOU WON'T SUCK BALLS!!" I smiled towards the stage that Jasper and his band just walked on.

The girls were laughing uncontrollably and Bella was turning red at the comment. _Jesus Bella you're just feeding my ego._

She smiled a big smile at me which I returned and she looked back at the stage clapping her hands.

Jasper unfortunately saw us in the crowd thanks to the comment that I always screamed out before he played. It was tradition, but not when girls were around. He saw us and froze in the middle of the stage. _Crap, good move Edward._

**JPOV**

I walked on stage shaking my arms and legs around to shake off the nerves. The band was counting on me not to slip up if I see the girls Edward brought along.

That's when I heard that bastard scream out his traditional line. I saw where the voice came from and the guys were with three gorgeous women. _Shit! Shit! Shit!_

_Just stay calm man, don't stress you've done this before don't let everyone down._

"Woooooooooooooh… Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaah."

I used the breathing techniques I learnt from the Buddhists in Tibet when I went to the peace rally.

Think calm Jazz, calm.

I looked away from their little group and started to fiddle with the strap on my guitar.

"Hey Jazz?"

"Yeah charlotte?"

"I think I want to do our duet before the other songs with the rest of the band…"

"If you want to, sure no problem. Wait which one because we practised 3…?"

"Ummmm, I think I want to do 'Gimme Gimme More'." I know what you're thinking. No we are not singing the Britney Spears version, EW. Charlotte and I changed it up a bit and made it acoustic. Her voice was made for this song. It was one of my favourites and it was easy too so I won't mess up for sure.

We got on stage and brought up a stool to sit on. I gave Charlotte the stand with her microphone and I set myself up.

I started to play the opening guitar riff and my mind drifted to a peaceful state.

Soon after, I heard Charlotte's sweet voice filter through the speakers. Her voice was simply angelic and organic not fake or forced just effortless.

I opened my eyes and looked towards the bar unfortunately to be greeted with the most beautiful pair of hazel eyes. She was breath taking.

I didn't slip or get sweaty…? What? I didn't understand she was looking at me but I was just in a daze and I couldn't take my eyes off of hers. She looked like she was concentrating on my eyes. I felt a shock go through my veins and I picked up the speed on the guitar solo. I immediately felt a rush and my mind was all over. I hands were fluttering all over the guitar and I was making up a bunch of chords and melodies that fit into the piece perfectly. Charlotte was looking at me with wide and appraising eyes. I looked back at her laughing and never messed up on my solo. I just kept going until the song ended!

"Jesus Jasper that was fucking amazing!"

"You think so?" I was smiling I could feel it.

"Dude that raped! Honestly I was going to cry. My little Jasper's growing up!" Charlotte said this with her hands over her mouth.

"Jeez guys, thanks I feel great tonight I think we should have a drink before we get back to the gig." They nodded and I went to see my friends.

"Hey! I'm Alice! You were amazing!" _Alice, wow I love that name it just rolls off the tongue._

"Hi. I'm Jasper nice to meet you, Alice. Thanks I've actually never played so well." I was just starring at her beautiful face. She had me in a daze.

"You looked like a natural. Are you playing anymore tonight?" She asked.

"Yeah our group is just getting settled and comfortable."

"Hey! So I guess you met Alice." Edward was grinning at me like he was seeing something I wasn't.

"Yeah." I looked over him and saw two other girls and waved. "Hi I'm Jasper."

"Hi! I'm Rose and this is Bella." They looked really nice and seemed to fit in amazingly with Edward and Emmett.

"Jasper, guess what." Emmett was looking at me like a five year old on Christmas.

"What Emmett?"

He jumped over the bar, Emmett style and picked up Bella. _Whoa there Emmett you just met her._

"This," He was showing her off like a prize on 'The Price Is Right!' "is my cousin, Bella!"

"Again, nice to meet you." She laughed and turned red after smacking Emmett's chest.

"You okay there Edward?" I said with a sly smile to get on his nerves he looked jealous when Emmett picked Bella up and spun her around in his bear hug.

"What? Why? I'm fine." He ran his hands through his hair and exhaled a big breath. "Hey Emmett? Can I have a beer?"

"Sure man. You ladies want anything to drink?" He asked mostly looking at Rose.

"Yes please I want a…. Hm what do I want Bella?" Bella shrugged her shoulders. "Okay thanks, Jasper what do you think I would like?" She was eyeing me with a beautiful smile playing on her lips.

"Uh- um I don't know I don't really drink much." I said sheepishly.

"Really?" She asked in disbelief. "Whoa. Now that's control. I'm telling you." She was nodding her head in approval and looking proud of my choice. "I think I want a rum and coke please, Em!"

"No problem Al!" He made her drink and put special decorations in it just for her obviously because she had to have her drinks looking flamboyant.

"Thanks!" She winked at him as a friendly gesture but I was still jealous.

"So, what do you guys do for a living?" I asked trying to start a conversation.

Rosalie began, "Well we are sexual-" she took a sip of her drink, making Emmet gape at her in an…ticipation **( ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW! If you don't know what we're talking about then you havnt lived. Lol joking! No but seriously go watch it NOW**- Stef and Ali)

"Education teachers." She finished, beaming.

"That sounds like fun!"

"Haha! Oh my George! It is, you should have seen Rose today she blew a gasket." Bella said this giggling in Rose's direction just to piss her off. Rose just laughed it off and dismissed her comment.

"Oh yeah that's true I'm sorry Rose but that was funny!" Edward was saying this now. Wait how did Edward know?

They must have seen the confusion written on my face so Alice told me that they were teaching Edward's class.

"Wait, hold the phone." Emmett said putting his hands up like he was surrendering to a police officer with a gun. "Bella, are you saying you are teaching Sex-Ed?!" He looked pissed as if it was like she took a hooker job. "You are working with horny teenage boys?" He looked afraid for her. "No way is my little girl working in the sex trade. NO EFFING WAY!"

"Umm yes Emmett." She said motioning to the girls. "_we_, are all the Sex-Ed teachers for Edward's class." She said rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her Cosmo. "And It's not the sex trade you dumbass! It's teaching the kids about puberty and sex! Jesus…" She said waving her hands around like she was trying to make it sound like a minor issue, which it was. She was sooooo buzzed!

"Oh right... You teach Sex-Ed class too Rose?" He looked like he had taken the sex trade comment back.

"Yes I do." She said taking a sip of her Porn Star. "And I love it!" She smiled at him and he turned red. _Emmett's got it bad for this one. _

"Oh yeah, I was meaning to ask you Emmett" Bella started. "Do you think you can help us out with teaching our class?"

He looked at her in disbelief. "Um don't you think kids know what sex is I mean with all the teenage pregnancies going on today do you really think the class is necessary?" He looked uncomfortable.

Alice laughed at his stance. "You'd be surprised. This school is not populated with an army of 'Junos'. One of the boys thought he had a uterus and didn't know where it was."

This made Rose choke on her drink and Edward laughed at her.

"What!? I'm not a prude or anything I just don't think I have time to go to a middle school to teach kids about sex." He looked funny.

Rose, Bella, Alice, Edward and I couldn't hold in her laughter at his twisted face.

"It pays twenty five dollars each time you go." Edward said knowing Emmett would never turn a pay check away.

"Well I don't know. I don't want the girls all over me." He said trying to compliment himself, while flexing his muscles.

"Honestly Emmett you are so difficult fine thirty dollars each time. And you won't be with the girls just the boys." Alice was really trying to get him to take the job.

"Done. But if there are any boys who come onto me I swear I'm throwing Edward to the wolves and ditching." He said in a matter of fact-ly way.

"Don't worry Emmett no homos." Bella said with a giggle.

"But you do have Jacob." Rose said.

"Who's Jacob?" I asked.

"He's just a tad too friendly with Bella…" Alice said into her glass trying to make sure Bella didn't hear the comment. I laughed at her attempt.

"I heard that!" Bella said.

"Bella its okay I'll keep Jacob away from you." Edward said. Bella smiled at him and blushed.

"Hey. I'm practically Bella's big brother so I think I can handle it." Emmet saying obviously not understanding that they liked each other.

***

My band played our last songs and got a couple encores. One was for me to do the 'Gimme Gimme More' acoustic with my improv bit.

We all six exchanged number with each other and said our goodbyes. I couldn't wait for the next time I would see Alice. I had a feeling I would be dreaming sweet **(and wet… hahah- Stef-)** dreams tonight.

* * *

**Just a clarification's about names. Ali is Ali Edward Cullen… Stef is stefcullen10 and Steff (two effs lol) is 4Ever93. blah blah blah**

**Ok so questions: 1)Have you seen thr rocky horror picture show?**

**2)Do you like the new kids on the block? Why?**

**3)Do you think that I could rule the world someday and marry the Evil Iguana Productions Cast? I you don't know what that is... Well shame on you and youtube it they are famous and loved all over the world so yes you are missing out if you haven't heard of them!**

**REVIEW PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEE! **

**P.S. MERRY CHRISTMAS!**

**P.P.S. AND A HAPPY NEWWWWW YEARRRRRR! ::Sing song voice!::**

**Love always **

**-Ali Edward Cullen**


	8. Chapter 6

**Hey guys!!!!!!!! HOLY MOLY! its been a while! :O**

**We are terribly sorry for the long wait! It's been hectic with school and stuff so yup don't be mad because we are not ending this story... Until its has to come to and end which is the day we will dread the most! :'( lol but no time soon :D**

**And by the way all of the referances to things like bands/music/funny videos/important clothing will be posted on my profile so you can get a good idea of what we're talking about :)**

**Ok so in this chappy, we have a lot going on so we have to be patient reading this humungus chappy like I think it's one of the biggest so far. 15 pgs on word :\**

**lol I hope that's ok?... Yes, right so have a happy read and you know the drill REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!**

**Also we will have questions at the end AN so if you don't know what one of the questions are or what to answer then ask or write something like... um YELLOW TUNNEL for that question in your review :D**

**Let's Role ****Ali Edward Cullen **

* * *

Chapter 6

**APOV**

I woke up with a startle. _My alarm clock should not be going off on a Saturday! That's just wrong._

I turned over and flipped the pillow over my head to suffocate my hearing and horrible head-ache. I didn't have a hang over; I'm not one to wake up with a hang over. I just get tiny head aches, no dizziness or vomiting, nope not for me. Although seeing Bella running into my room looking concerned told me otherwise.

"Jesus Al, you're a mess." She looked surprised. "Wait here I'll get you my 'Bella hang over potion'." She smacked the alarm clock and it finally shut the fudge up.

Bless her soul.

Rose came in next with a piece of flax seed toast and a cup of black coffee. She was wrapped in a thermal camping blanket. She looked cozy.

"Wanna pite?" She asked with her mouth full of toast shoving the plate in my face.

"No. I'm not hungry. I want my 'Bella hang over potion'!" I whined.

I was never one to wake up on the wrong side of the bed especially after meeting my soul mate. _Sigh_. Jasper, I wouldn't mind waking up next to him that's for sure!

"What are you fmiling at?" Rose asked quirking a perfect eyebrow blowing crumbs on my bed.

"Nothing now get out so I can shower and masturbate in private with the dildo you bought me for my sixteenth birthday." I finished with a shit eating grin.

"Ewe! Yeah you can finish my toast, I'm done!"

"JUST KIDDINGGGG!" I said in a sing song voice like we used to do in college.

She threw her head back and cackled like an old lady. The blanket that was wrapped around her fell to the ground. She was in nothing but grey cotton panties, a sports bra and tube socks. _Leave it to Rose to look like a goddess in underwear_. I thought to myself jealously.

"Jesus Rose! Aren't you cold?" I asked taken back.

"Well duh! Hence the thermal camping blanket I was wearing like a parka and by the by my nipples can poke an eye out!" She said as if it was obvious.

The three of us decided that since we liked to save the environment and our money we would keep our heating and air conditioning to a minimum. We just layered many blankets and wore socks to bed, to compensate for the lack of heat.

Yeah we can buy a new sofa or some new cabinets for the kitchen next year if we kept up our money saving ways -such as roommate-ing together- of course another one of the rules would be for me to try and cut down on my shopping -which was quite difficult. _But I only shop twice a week now and I have a time limit, _I reminded myself with a guilty grin.

"What're you smi-…Oh never mind…" she sighed. "Ok I'm peace out. I need to go to the gym and you and Bells should come too so I'll let you shower and masturbate in privacy chica" She said with a wink and chuckled at her own joke.

Bella came in with my water cayenne pepper and apple. All ingredients for curing the hang over that I didn't have.

She picked up these remedies on Martha Stewart. But in the wise words of Martha, _"Exercise is also encouraged to rid your body of toxins and to maintain Zen."_

I showered and we were all ready to go to the gym when I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Bella! We are not going to the gym when you are wearing a 'Tommy James and the Shondells' t-shirt and the sweat pants you slept in. Now, get your arse in your room and change into a tank and the track capri pants I got you at Lululemons last year. You know the army green ones?"

"Yes your highness…" She huffed and ran into her room quickly, knowing that Rose needed to work out early so we could run our weekend errands.

Ten minutes later she came running out while tying her hair into a ponytail.

"Very nice!" Rose said like Borat and we got in her car.

***

We all got on a treadmill and set the times. We each put on our portable cassette players. _Yes we still use our cassette players gosh we just pack like a couple cassettes in our gym bags so we don't listen to the same like 15 songs over and over again._

"OUUUU! Guys guess what!" Bella said taking the ear buds out of her ears and pausing the treadmill.

"What?" I asked curious.

"They have a free trial aerobics class today!" She clapped her hands excitedly.

"Strip aerobics?!" Rose asked smiling ear to ear. _I swear she is too funny._

"No silly real aerobics." Bella said rolling her eyes.

"Oh. Well I did a couple strip aerobics classes before. They work very nicely without making you manly and buff like with other work out classes do." She said in a matter-of-factly tone.

"Ok well, I think we should try it out it starts in five, so let's get over there." I said eager to start.

We walked out of the class drenched in sweat, hooded eyes, hunched backs and dragging feet.

"Jesus Christ! That Shelley lady instructor person is a real Nazi."

"You can say that again." Bella agreed with me.

"I mean we have stamina, right?! How did she get to us so easily? I swore I wouldn't give up and I just… Collapsed!" She said flailing her sore arms in the air like a mad woman. "That is so not Rose style to not keep up!" You could tell she was pissed with the knowledge that Shelley and the pregnant woman had better endurance than her.

"I'm going to take a shower and I'm changing into some jeans and a shirt I need to go grocery shopping, the fridge is almost empty. You guys could drop me off and I'll take a bus home." I said with a voice filled with exhaustion.

They mumbled 'Okays' to me and we all got ready and I was dropped off at the grocery store.

I was talking to myself doing a mental checklist of everything we needed to stock up on….

"Tampons, Large... Pads, no not those diaper ones… Midol, I'll take five bottles… Band-Aids… AHA! Found you. You little bugger thought you could hide from me did ya?" I snatched the box of Metamucil pills off the rack. They were really for when we don't have time to get a full meal… Yeah… It's a natural thing to crap so you all can just shut up! Jeez… Not everyone's metabolism is super amazing.

I continued doing the checklist through the isles.

"Peppers… Milk… Celery… Cream Cheese… Pickles… Apples… Oh wait no, I want green **(A.N: CRAIG AND ALLEN! 3…Sorry…Back to the story now. -S-+-A-)** not yellow… Ha-ha. Um… Count Chocula… Tea… Jack Daniels, yeah I'll take a bottle of Tequila while I'm at it we finished those off a while ago…"

My thoughts were interrupted with a soft sobbing noise behind me.

I turned around and saw a little girl with blonde locks of hair. Rosy cheeks with tears spilling all over her little white eyelet dress. Whoever dressed her had taste. The pink bows in her hair matched nicely with her skin tone.

"Hey, little girl. What's wrong?" I smiled at her and she retreated back behind the sacks of rice. What a cutie.

"Did you lose your mommy?" She shook her head. "Your Daddy?" She shook her head again.

"Well you want to stay with me until you find the person you lost?" She sniffled and nodded her head. She clasped her little fingers around my middle finger and we walked through the isles doing my groceries. We talked and she told me her name was Lillian.

"And my uncle said 'Wait here Lilly.'." She said in a stern voice shaking her finger at me.

"And you didn't stay where you were supposed to, now did you?" I asked smiling at her while she fiddled with the hem of her dress. She looked adorable and it was sad but I wanted to steal her from whoever took care of her. She was only about four years old.

"No well it's 'cause well he said stay here but I saw the lady at the counter there give another kid a chocolate and I wanted one because I couldn't wait to go out for breakfast so I walked up to her and asked very nicely for the one in the purple wrapper. 'Cause that's my favouwite colouw." She said all in one breath, giving me the puppy eyes. _Oh my god she's going to make me melt_!

"But she gave me that and then I was skipping back to my 'place' but I got lost and then I was hiding between the rice and stuff then you found me and now you can be my auntie and marry Jazzy!" She said flinging her arms up as if all was good again.

"Who can marry Jazzy, Lilly?" I turned around when I heard a deep voice behind me.

"JAZZY!" She shrieked in my ear and wiggled her way out of my arms and into his.

Holy crap.

"Lillian Mary. You will never give your uncle Jazzy a scare like that again."

"It's not my fault I was hungry and we couldn't go to the restaurant soon enough." She said as she rolled her eyes.

_Crap, it's Jasper and now he's turning around to look at me shit, shit, and shit! _

"Alice?" He was smiling at me. Speechless.

"You bet." _Wow, now you sound like a loser_. _Might as well swing your arm and snap your finger while you're at it. _

"Yeah Jazzy, that's who you're marrying. Ok?" Lilly asked just to confirm that these plans were going to be approved. No biggie.

He laughed a deep laugh.

"So Lillian is your niece?" I asked trying to break the silence.

"Well not by blood. You know Charlotte and Peter in the band?" I nodded. She was the one who sang like an angel and he played the bass. "Well they're her parents, and they don't have any real family so I'm Lillian's God father." He said proudly

"And her god mother is your girlfriend I'm assuming…?" Smooth.

"Uh no, I don't have one and Lilly doesn't need a god mother as long as I'm around. Right honey bun?" She giggled as he bounced her in his arms.

"Yeah but Alice can be my god mother wight Jazzy?"

"Umm…" He was chuckling a bit. "Sorry, she can get very clingy and over the top sometimes."

"Oh don't worry about it. Its fine, she's adorable!" He smirked at Lillian.

"So, can Auntie Alice come to breakfast Jazzy?"

"Alice would you like to come to breakfast with the little devil and I?" He asked grinning.

"Let me just pay for this stuff and I'll meet up with you guys in a bit." I motioned to the basket I was holding full of 'female' products and suddenly regretted it! Damn it.

He looked at it. Turned red, and nodded clearly not wanting to know what was under the jumbo tampons, Jack Daniels and band-aids…

"Ok… Cool, I'll be putting Lilly in her car seat in the mini cooper convertible. It's black." He said with a sheepish smile.

"You have a mini cooper?" I asked in disbelief. Not many guys would drive a mini cooper. I thought it was hot.

"Yeah… It's my baby. Well after little Miss Lilly over here" He smiled, bounced Lilly and she giggled. Jasper took off towards his car leaving me in a trance like state again, speechless.

***

We ate at the local café -He paid- and Lilly insisted that we go to the park because it was so sunny and she saw some flowers she had to pick. They were weeds**. (OMG! WEED! Sorry…Craig and Allen, again. Stef is just a tadddd obsessed…So is Ali!! Proceed!) **

Jasper and I were watching Lilly slide down the purple and green slide while we sat on the swings side by side talking.

"I heard you say Lillian Mary before. Is that her middle name or something?" I asked truly curious since that was my First name.

"Naw, it's her first name, but she refuses to be called Mary." He said with a smirk.

"Seriously?!" I asked stunned.

"Yeah, why?" He was looking at me closely.

"Well. It's my first name too and when I was around her age I refused to be called Mary because of the movie 'Alice in Wonderland'! And well, Alice was my middle name." I was shocked at how alike we were.

Lilly was super stubborn, energetic, stylish -apparently she chose her outfit today-, playful and so many other things, I need to know more.

"That's so cool! Your name is Mary also?"

"Yup!" I was grinning at him and he was smiling back.

"Auntie Alice, Uncle Jazzy?" Lilly yelled. "Can you come play with me?"

"Sure, hun whatcha wanna play?" Jasper asked scooping Lilly up in his muscular arms which made her laugh.

"I wanna play hide and go seek ok? And I'm hiding you guys have to seek. So go behind the bush and count to a zillion until I say ok. Ok?" We were both trying to contain our laughter but failed miserably. Lilly started tapping her foot on the pavement and had her hands on her hips.

"What's so funny?" She frowned at us.

"Nothing monkey, just don't hurt yourself going up on the steps up to the tower 'kay?" She nodded and waddled away to the jungle gym.

Jasper and I went behind the bushes and sat down on the grass.

"Have you ever played hide and go seek with a four year old?" He asked.

"Um, no why?" I was confused, why would he ask something like that?

"Well you should know that Lilly never gets found and she's tricky. Always changing her spot and popping up behind you, making sure to scare the living daylights out of you. So you're warned, be on your toes." He said quite seriously which made me laugh.

"Hey! I don't hear any counting! And I'm not coming down there, so count!"

"Yes Lilly." We answered.

"Ninety bajillion, ninety one bajillion… ninety two bajillion…"

"Ok just hurry up and get to a Zillion." She sounded exasperated.

"A ZILLION!" We yelled out and she squeaked. We ran out from behind the bushes and started out on our quest to find the sneaky Lilly.

"I can't find her. She's too small to spot." I said actually surprised that we couldn't find the little rascal.

"Yeah I told you she was good." He said proudly.

"Pssst! Come here." I whispered to him.

"What? Do you see her?" He whispered back.

I pointed to the yellow tube thing that connected the two sides of the jungle gym. The sun was beaming down on it so you could see a little figure hunched over inching her way to the other side.

"She's in there," I pointed to the yellow tunnel. "…And I think we can get her if I go on the right and you go on the left side."

He nodded his head and swung up to the top in a swift motion like in an action movie.

I gave him a hand signal to go and block his side of the tunnel and I went for mine.

"Hey! Where'd she go?" Jasper said as we both poked our heads in the tunnel, it was empty.

"Sneaky little bugger." He laughed and I heard little footsteps behind me.

"Wait! I hear somethi-" My but was suddenly being pushed deeper into the tunnel until my mouth collided with Jaspers.

His eyes popped open and mine were like a dear in headlights.

I heard stifled giggles and detached myself quickly from him. He looked at me and I looked back. His expression was blank and mine was probably stunned. We were both on our hands and knees.

I was backing out of the tunnel when I felt a strong hand grasp my wrist.

I was pulled back into him and his lips caressed mine. My eyes closed and I started to kiss him back. It was like fire works going off on the back of my eye lids. His sweet sent enveloped me and I was in pure ecstasy. He cupped my face in his right hand leaning on his left and I sat on my knees since I was small enough to do it. I tangled my hands in his honey gold mane and the kiss was becoming heated. Our lips moulded to each other like we were a match made in heaven. He sighed into me and I moaned when our tongues explored each other's mouths. He tasted sweet but spicy at the same time. By far the best kiss I had ever taken part in.

We broke apart panting and flushed. He had a goofy smile plastered on his god-like face. And is hair was dishevelled and mussed.

"Wow." I said, sounding like a teenage girl who just got her first kiss.

"Yeah. That was nice." He smiled at me and I blushed again.

"Are you guys done smooching? I want to go home now to tell mommy and daddy that you're married." Lilly said knocking on the yellow plastic.

"Yeah, we're ready." I said flushed.

"Lilly, just wait a sec, we're kind of stuck." He said as he raked a hand through his soft hair.

"Stuck?!" I squeaked.

"Well I have to crawl out backwards because god knows I can't fit through this thing and Lilly is standing behind me." He chuckled and it echoed.

I laughed and backed out the other way. I crawled over the top and got to the other side moving Lilly out of the way so he could pass.

Once out, he stretched his arms and legs.

"Isn't uncle Jazzy big auntie Alice?" She said eyeing him stretch out like he was an alien.

"Yes he is Lilly. He sure is." I said in awe.

"Ok girls, let's get you home."

We walked to the parked car and buckled Lilly up in her car seat.

"Today was really fun. I thought I would just be grocery shopping and going out for breakfast with Lillian, but I'm happy we ran into you." He said quietly looking in the rear view mirror to find the little munchkin fast asleep.

"Yeah, so am I." I said while fiddling with the stitching on my purse.

The comfortable silence took over as we drove.

"Alice?" Jasper said breaking me out of my daydream.

"Yeah Jazz?" _Jazz? Oh dear god, I already have his nickname_.

"Wouldyouliketobemygirlfriend?" He asked in a rush. I didn't understand what he said.

"Huh?"

"Well if you don't want that, its ok I was just thinking you know…" He looked hurt.

"No. um I didn't hear what you said silly, what was it?" He was so cute when he was flustered.

"I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend." He was wincing in anticipation for the last part.

"You want me to be your girlfriend? For serious? Oh my god yes!" A was smiling like crazy, it hurt my cheeks.

He looked back at me and the light turned red.

His eyes were shining with joy and I couldn't believe he would want to be with me as much as I had wanted to be with him.

"Of course for serious, Alice! The first time I laid my eyes on you I was in a dream. Last night I fell asleep with you on my mind, then I dreamt of you and I woke up think of you." He pulled over and stopped the engine. "Remember when I did that whole solo on stage last night?" I nodded. "Well I would usually tense up and not be able to play with a beautiful woman watching me, but I don't know." He swallowed hard. "I had an urge to impress you." He said shaking his head smiling.

"It was the same for me. It was like I was in lala land all night and this morning at the gym. Even Rose noticed." We stared into each other's eyes for another moment and he pulled me into another passion filled kiss.

I put my hands on either side of his face and he put one of his on my hip and another on my back. I granted his tongue entrance and a low moan erupted from his throat. I giggled as he peppered wet kisses down my chin, jaw and neck.

"Jazz, Lilly will wake up." I whispered but he kept going.

"Uh-huh but -_kiss_- she's -_kiss_- not -_kiss_- a -_kiss_- light -_kiss_- sleeper." And at the last word he planted his lips back on mine. I rolled my eyes at his logic and I could feel him smile into the kiss.

We broke apart and he was panting and smiling like a little kid who just hid a bunch of fire crackers in the fire place and got his sister in trouble for the explosion.

"Well I guess we should get to your apartment before Bella and Rosalie get worried." He said coming back to reality as was I.

"Yeah but I'll get a kiss goodnight before you leave right?" I asked teasing him.

"Of course. Your wish is my command." He said smiling at me as if he really meant it. Man, was I lucky or what?

We finally got to the apartment and he came around the car to open my door and got the groceries from this afternoon. The sun was setting as we walked up the stairs. I was holding a sleeping Lilly in my arms and I got the key out to open the door when a crazy looking Rose and Bella swung it open before it reached the key hole.

Both Jasper and I jumped back and Lilly woke up rubbing her eyes.

"Thank you, for the surprise attack, ladies." Jasper said chuckling.

"No problem, Jasper." Rose said smiling sweetly at him, but I knew all she wanted were the cold hard answers. Not small talk with my newly acclaimed boyfriend.

"Bella, Rose, Jasper and I bumped into each other at the grocery store and we spent the day with each other and Lillian." I said looking down at the angelic little girl in my arms.

"That's me!" She said to them smiling big.

"AWWWWW! ALICE SHE IS SOOOO SQUISHABLE I WANT TO STICK HER IN MY POCKET AND EAT HER UP!!!!" Rose squealed and we all laughed at her craziness, except for Lilly who had a frightened look on her face.

"Don't worry hun, Rosie won't eat you. She prefers big boys." Bella said.

"Like in the song, Man eater?" Lilly asked and we again burst out laughing.

"Yes Lilly, like in the song." Jasper said regaining his sanity.

We went in the apartment and Jasper helped me put all the food in the fridge and cupboards while Rose and Bella played Barbie makeover with Lilly.

"I'm going to miss you tonight." Jasper said Lilly again asleep in his arms. We were standing in the doorway.

"Then don't leave." I said as he ran his thumb across my cheek bone.

"I have to, Lilly has to go home and I have a gig tomorrow.

I pouted. "Well, will you call me when you get home and before you go to sleep?"

"Try and stop me." He leaned down to lay a short sweet kiss on my lips. With that he smiled at me and I waved him goodbye.

***

**BPOV**

We woke up the next morning at around 9:30 am so we had a little bit of time to sleep in compared to the weekdays.

I was usually the one to cook us breakfast but since it was Sunday morning it was decided it was official Rose breakfast day. Every Sunday we would eat pancakes, Crepes, waffles or French toast all home made by Rose.

Her mom Rita was a chef on a cruise line so our little Rosie knew a thing or two about cooking.

Rita was a cool mom, she would usually take us on vacations for like a quarter of the original price and that's also why Rose learnt how to fend for herself when a boy got too friendly. We all did actually.

It was fun to live like that before we actually started living on our own, it prepared us well for the real world when our parents were working and Rose's mom was cooking, we were just alone on the ships.

I sat up in my bed and pulled the eggplant purple duvet back and suddenly regretted it. We needed to get another job each to be able to afford to put the heating at least two degrees warmer.

I walked out into the living room and saw across the room into the kitchen that Rose was dancing with a spatula in her hands and she was wearing an apron that read 'Suck My Cook!' Yeah, we all owned one of those aprons with the corny sexual joke. Mine is 'I Keep the Best Snacks under My Apron' and Alice's is 'Low Carb Diet' and it had a red arrow pointing downwards… Yes we are special. They were ordered online for us at Christmas. The funny chef on the cruise line who was about our age, Jorge… What a joker, yeah he purchased them for us.

"Hey! What's cookin' good lookin'?" I yelled from the living room.

"Waffles!" She yelled and that's when I heard the sizzling from the kitchen when she poured the batter on the iron.

Alice soon came out with a big smile on her face.

"How's it going?" She asked to us both.

"Bitchin' in the kitchen baby, just bitchin' in the kitchen." She said as she licked the spoon she used to stir the jam and ground her hips into… Well I'm not sure, probably just air again.

"I'm doing great, now are you going to tell us what's going on with you a little old Jazzy poo?" I said fluttering my eye lashes and I sighed to embarrass her.

"Yeah Al, what's up with the tall, not dark and handsome?" Rose asked still bobbing her head and pulled the right head phone bud out of her ears.

"Well don't over react; just put a sock in it until I finish completely ok?"

We stuck out our index and middle fingers and made a cross over our hearts just like we used to do, like the perfect little boy scouts did. Like the total losers we were.

"Ok so we were having a great time spending the day together and watching Lillian." She paused as she walked to the counter to pour herself some coffee.

"Awee, what a cutie I want to keep her all to myself." Rose said squinting her eyes and pinching her cheeks.

"I know right?!" I said and Alice clapped her hands.

"Shut up, it's my story telling time you crossed your heart so like I said shut your pie hole bitchez!"

We erupted into giggles but settled down once Alice sat next to us on the sofa.

"So we were swinging and Lilly wants to play hide and go seek so we were like sure, cool. Only after we agree to play Jasper lets me know that that little cutie that we all know and love is sneaky and by the way is exactly like me but I'll explain that another time.

"So we finished counting and I saw her in the yellow tunnel thingy that only I'm able to fit in. right? So I was like 'Jazz, take one side and I'll take the other.' So we planned the attack. Once we were up I don't know how but she escaped us and we were facing each other we were about to back out when someone's little hands push my ass farther into the tunnel!"

Rose and I gasped.

"You mean some snotty little boy pushed you in to get through for himself?! What a little pervert." Rose said stunned.

"No dumbass it was Lilly. Jesus she's funny!" I corrected her.

Alice gave us a stern look and we shut up once again.

"So when the little rascal pushed me in, my mouth conveniently fell onto Jasper's and we were stuck for a second. Our eyes bugging out of the sockets and all!"

I took a gulp of my coffee.

"So I pulled back all embarrassed and then I was all like shell shocked when I felt him take my wrist and pull me in for another real kiss! And let me tell you it was a kiss! Like the best kiss I had ever experienced and we know I've experienced quite a number of kisses."

We all squealed and I swear my ears were buzzing for the next ten minutes for sure.

"So what's happening now? Are you guy's official or it was just a little kiss and whatever…?" I asked.

"Well we were driving back and he pulled over and was all sweaty and nervous and flustered looking and asked me to be his girlfriend!" She was smiling that smile again. You know the one that hurts your cheeks?

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Rose and I asked in perfect unison.

"I said 'no', and that I was dating Jensen Ackles."

Now we probably looked like we were about to cry and slap some sense into this child.

"YOU ARE AN IMBECILE! NOT ONLY DID YOU BREAK HIS HEART BUT YOU LIKED HIM!" I said ready to pounce.

"MORE IMPORTANTLY YOU AREN'T DATING JENSEN ACKLES AND I WANT TO PLAY BARBIE WITH LILLY AGAIN WITHOUT ANY AWKWARD SILENCES!" I'm glad you noticed she's not dating television star Jensen Ackles, Rose. What a keener beaner.

"You guys are total numb nuts! Of course I said I wanted to be his girlfriend! In fact right after I said yes, wesharedaheatedpassionatekiss."

"HUH?" Again in unison we asked. I swear it's crazy how we keep doing that.

"We shared a heated, passionate kiss." She said in a hushed tone.

"Yeah right I bet you guys had hot and dirty monkey sex in the backseat of his mini cooper." Rose said wiggling her eyebrows.

"Or better yet in the yellow tunnel. Must've been romantic, with all of the graffiti and the pot smells." I said turning the corner of my lips up and winked.

"No you idiots, again Lilly was with us. Jesus you would think that since you love her so much you would know she was there, gosh." She said getting up ready for some waffles.

"Yes, yes deny what you like but we know you had hot, dirty monkey sex with, _Uncle Jazzy,_ regardless of who was watching or where you were situated." Rose said over her shoulder walking towards the kitchen.

We all sat down in front of the T.V. on the couch and ate our waffles with whipped cream and jam. Yum.

***

It was around four o'clock when my boyfriend, Mike, called.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey baby! I was wondering… Um can we cancel dinner tonight I'm kind of sick and I don't know if I'm up to it. You know?" He said in a hurt voice.

"Oh. Oh no, do you want me to swing by and cook for you or stay the night? I mean it's no trouble I'm not doing anything else." I said worried for his health. Mike didn't get sick often, but when he was it was horrible like a gore movie I don't really want to go over but since I am his girlfriend I have to offer anyway. It's one of the rules.

"No! I mean uh, like I think I can handle it. And plus I don't want you to get sick I mean it's like germ-a-palooza over here!" He sounded scared. And didn't that line come from 'Will and Grace' when Will and Grace wanted to ditch there old friends and hang out with the cool Harajuku girl and weird guy with the long hair? Huh, weird.

"Well if you don't want me to come over… Do you want me to stay on the phone with you? So you don't get lonely over at your apartment?" I was concerned now.

"N-no. It's okay I'm just going to read a book." He never read…

"Okay I guess. I'll call you later but let me know if you need me for anything okay?"

"Yeah, no problem Bella." He hung up.

"Who was that?" Rose asked.

"Um, Mike is sick. So we cancelled our plans for dinner." I said looking down.

"Okay well me and Alice are looking for extra jobs on the net so if you want after we're done we can rent some movies or something." She said shrugging her shoulders.

"Naw, I think we still haven't watched that one we got for Christmas so no point in renting one. And I think I'm gonna look into another job as well." I said forcing a smile.

"Okay cool."

* * *

**Ok so watcha think???????**

**I think you should let us know don't you? Yup that's what I was thinking too :)**

**lol um before I forget I want to point out that Steff was the one who came up with the yellow tunnel idea so kudos to her, Stef proofed this time and I wrote the chappy this time so if you're gonna dog on it tell me and don't complain to them they just made it special :D**

**Ok questions: **

**1) What is the wierdest picture you've taken in one of those picture booths? -I know it's random but I've actually never been in one :P the stef(fs) have several times though:P**

**2) Have you read any other Vamp books... Other than the magnificent Twilight series? If so which ones?**

**3) What should Lillian Mary's last name be??? It can't be Whitlock since Jasper isn't actually _related _to her :\**

**And feel free to ask us questions while you're at it. They can be totally random if you want it's cool reading wierd questions and I'll answer them in an end AN for the next chappy :D**

**THANKS! ;) **

**Ali Edward Cullen 3 **


	9. Chapter 7

**Hey! How have you been holding up???? So guess what... We chose a winner for my question about the last name of Lilly and Peter and Charlotte :D **

**Drum role please!!!!!**

**'BOWEN' Idea submitted by hollybaby97!!!! good job! By the way we would rather if you signed in next time it would be cooler if you won and we could like contact you with like spoilers and stuff :P**

**So do we like??? Well even though the others didn't win the runners up were: Emerson - wannabevampire13/ Hark - MusicADD/ Tripp - Kinolaughs :D**

**Thanks! and by the way we've been having trouble with the site so if you were alerted about stef's SexEdward being updated then there was a mistake she uploaded a chapter from her other story and people were complaining and she couldn't take it off...:s**

**Anyways this chappy was writen by Steff! Enjoy, RXR **

**LET'S ROLE!...**

**

* * *

Chapter 7**

**RPOV**

I woke up the next morning at noon, exhausted, and alone. The apartment was empty, except for a note from Alice and Bella.

_Rose, _

_Jasper called this morning and invited us to his gig at Club Soda tonight and Alice HAD to get new outfits for us. Be back soon._

_Xox _

_Bella_

I headed to the kitchen, pretty mad they didn't wait for me, and made breakfast for myself. I made a bowl fruit loops and sat myself down on the big comfy couch to watch some cartoons. _You are never too old to watch cartoons._

When the bugs bunny and tweety show was over, I decided to take a shower and get ready for the day. Before I could even get my foot in, the phone rang. Thinking it would be Bella or Alice, I sprinted to the phone naked, crossing my fingers no one could see me.

"Hello?"

"Hey Rose, it's Emmett, can you buzz me in. I'm downstairs."

"Oh hey Emmett, yeah sure but-"

"Kay thanks!" He hung up.

I buzzed him in and started frantically looking for something to wear. Of course I wouldn't mind him seeing me naked and all, and in any other circumstances it would be great, but unfortunately he didn't know about my crazy fantasies I had about him and now would not be the time for him to find out.

_Knock. knock._

_SHIT._

"One sec!"

Finally running into Bella's room I grabbed her robe and swung it on me. I swung the door opened, trying to catch my breath.

"Um, hey." Emmett said eyeing my like a piece of meat. His eyes slid up and down my body and then I realised

I had grabbed Bella's robe. _Bella's_ robe, the short black silk robe that barely covered my ass cheeks, great.

"Come in." I said trying to sound casual as if it were normal that I was wearing this skanky attire.

"So, um, is Bella in? I need to talk to her about that sex-trade thing you do with those deprived children. I have some great ideas for stuff we can do, real hands on."

"Mmk," I started ticking points off with my fingers. "One: WERE NOT IN THE SEX-TRADE. Two: Bella's not here, she and Alice went out shopping for Jaspers gig tonight." I said rolling my eyes.

"Oh. Well do you think I could hang around until she comes back? Will it be long?"

"I don't think so. But I was actually about to jump in the shower," _and you could join me_, "as you can see," I said sweeping my hand down my body to show my not-so-discrete robe.

"That's cool" he sounded disappointed, "I'll just watch T.V. No biggie."

"Okay then..."

After my long, hot shower I went to do my hair. And at the moment I thought. _I have the most beautiful man in my living room, no one's home. I want him._ And today is going to be the day I get him.

I curled my hair and teased it. I put on my black lace thong and the shortest black shorts I could find, with a small white wife beater that went just above my belly button. I looked like sex. I did a quick last check in the mirror, and walked out of my room.

Emmett sat on the couch; all I could see was the back of his head. And boy was that head hot. **(Ha-ha! Head… Sexual innuendo…Right, well. Ali+Steff)** I walked slowly and seductively next to him and sat so that our thighs were touching.

"What's up?" I said through my lashes.

He turned to face me, and I swear if we were in those cartoons he was watching his eyes would jump out of their sockets.

"Hey Rose... Did you, um, have a good shower?"

"It was great thanks. Do you mind if I change the channel?" He went to reach for the remote but I stopped him.

"No it's ok. I got it." I reached over him making sure my boobs pressed against his rock hard biceps, and I could swear he stopped breathing. He flinched when I pulled away and let out a long breath. _It was working._

I started scanning the channels and I knew Pimp my Ride was on, on MTV.

Suddenly Emmett's hand was on my thigh smacking it. "NO WAY! You watch Pimp my Ride?!"

"Uh, duh, I love everything that has to do with mechanics. And this episode is a good one, I already saw it. They build his car for _speed_ and _mileage_. They also add this huge space in the back... For various _reasons_. That's the car of my dreams, a multi-purpose vehicle."

Once again I could swear his eyes were going to pop out of his head and his jaw drop to the ground.

"That's so hot." was all he said. I smirked in satisfaction.

We watched in silence and laughed at the guy's final reaction. Not even a toddler on heroin could jump so high.

"I'm bored," I said in a nonchalant way. "You're a bartender, right?"

"Yeah…" he said sounding kind of confused.

"Well, see Alice went and bought a bunch of alcohol, would you like to make me a drink?"

He nodded and I jumped off the couch making sure I swayed my hips while I walked to the liquor cabinet.

He seemed really in his element while making me my drink and when he finished it he handed it to me with a huge smile on his face.

"It's a Cosmo."

"Do I look like a pussy? Can you make me something stronger?" I grabbed it anyways though and chugged it down in one gulp. It was amazing.

Emmett raised an eye brow in the sexiest way and started making me something different.

"You see the, martini is not a drink for pussies." He said with a devilish smile.

I nodded my head waiting for him to continue.

"Always cool the glass. Nothing worse than a luke warm drink. It either has to be on fire or ice." He put my glass in the freezer and started making the drink. "When I make a martini I hate it when the inexperienced people make it with a shitload of everything and anything. Now, the vermouth can never be overdone it makes it taste like shit. So you pour in a bit into the shaker and shake it around with the ice and pour out the excess, enough for it to just _graze_ the ice." I would sure like it for him to graze me with some alcohol… _Jesus Rose! Get your mind out of the gutter!_

"I don't really like olives I mean you can put them in but it sort of makes such a clean and crisp drink look _dirty." _He went into the fridge and peeled a lemon. "You'll see what these are for later, but next, what you want to do is…"He took out the bottles and opened them up. "The vodka and please don't be stingy I mean you don't want it all water from the ice." I stared at him in awe I mean he was so sure of what he wants and it was sexy how he knew all of the rules and just, wow. "Ok so the lemon peel is for the rim of the chilled glass." He took it out of the freezer and circled the rim of the glass a couple times with the peel. "I love a good martini; I always know what I want. I think the only thing I have trouble deciding on is what type of vodka I want to use. I hate all of those minty flavoured vodkas they're gross, unnecessary and ruin the whole un-pure purity of it." He said winking at me. I laughed at his reasoning. "You know I think they help my voice." He cleared his throat. "Mi, mi, mi, mi! La, la, la, la!" His voiced boomed and I threw my head back in hysterics. "So yup, here we go." He shook up the drink and poured it into the frosty glass and pushed it towards me. I looked at it and smelled it and the only thing I could see in the glass was the yellow sprig of lemon peel, the rest was clear and crisp and a work of art.

"Well try it I know you'll like it. I remember my first time in L.A.; I went to this bar called Rousseau Franks. That's when I first lost my martini virginity I've become a slut ever since." He said it in such a sexy voice I swear I came.

I tasted it and this wave of wonderful went through my body. _Delicious, just like him._

"Mmmmmmh!" I moaned, my eyes were wide and I was staring at him in surprise. I downed it and I giggled. I smacked my hand down on the counter top pretending I was in a bar waiting to order. "Vodka martini, straight up, with a twist!" _and a drop or three of innuendo._ He laughed and made us another round. **(By the way this was all taken from a YouTube video on Alan Cummings he is awesome I'll have the link on my profile. –Ali)**

We drank quite a bit and somehow ended up on the couch again. We weren't drunk exactly, just a bit tipsy. And then it happened. We were laughing so hard about something, when our eyes met. We both went serious and just stared at each other. We leaned towards each other. Our lips met, it was a soft light kiss, but fireworks were exploding around us. I leaned back and stared and him for a quick second and leaned back in, his tongue gently moving along my lower lip asking for entrance. I gave it to him I let his tongue explore my mouth and then I went for his.

We moved so that I was on top of him. We stayed like that while. It could have been five minutes or even an hour but it was pure bliss. His hands explored my body moving up my thigh and along my waist. His palms slowly went up my ribs and grazed up the side of my breasts. I gasped in pleasure; he took his chance while my mouth was semi detached from his to tug on my bottom lip and pulled me back down on him.

My hands crept under his sweater and I realised there was a lot of fabric between us. So I gradually started taking off his sweater, and he ended up in his wife beater too. Bit by bit I started moving my hips and I could feel his arousal, long and hard on me. _I didn't have to worry about my motto with this one._ A low guttural moan erupted from the back of his throat into my mouth and my underwear got a little wetter from the sweet sound.

_You got to Pimp my Ride._

_Damn right._

_You got to Pimp my Ride._

Fuck my phone. Fuck my life.

I jumped off Emmett extremely pissed.

"Someone better be dead!" I yelled in the phone as I picked it up.

"Nice to hear from you too!" Alice's chipper voice sang in the phone.

"What do you want?"

"Just hang up and get back here." Emmett yelled form behind me.

"Oh my baby Jesus! Rosalie Hale, there is a man in the apartment." Alice squealed in her high-pitched voice. It was a statement. I mean did she honestly think I was oblivious to it?

"WHAT THE EFF?" that was Bella.

"Alice, give me the phone right now." there was a pause, then a thud, then a yell, "Who the hell is in that apartment?!" Always count on Bella to act rational.

Suddenly I felt two warm hands wrap around my waist. _Sigh. _

"Come on babe, just hang up." He started planting feather light open mouthed kisses along my neck. Ugh he's going to make me throw him down and take him right here on the floor.

"Holy mother Theresa, is that Emmett?" Bella was freaking at this point. "Alice they're finally together. It's about time guys. Oh my gee, please no cock spots on the couch guys. Please we don't have money to buy a new one," I rolled my eyes.

"Okay guys, is there a specific reason you are calling?" I was getting pissed. Not even a good shower and my vibrater could get rid of this feeling.

Alice was now on the phone. "Ok guys no sex, I need you, Rose, to go under my bed and get the Bristol board from under there and make me a poster for Jasper's gig. We're running really late and I won't be able to do both when I get home. And please for the sake of our eyes, be clothed when we get there. Kthanksbye."

_Great. No sex._

I reluctantly got the board and placed it on the floor next to Emmett. He surprisingly was quite okay with this situation.

"Oh Rose, it's ok, we'll have fun doing this instead." I rolled my eyes cause I knew what I'd have fun doing. And it had no dangers of paper cuts and pen stains on my clothes.

"Do you want to listen to some music while we draw?"

He smiled a toothy grin and I went to the stereo and flipped it on.

_Last week I saw a film _

_As I recall it was a horror film_

Holy fuck! Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

I forgot my Lonely Islands CD was in there. Shit!

_And I jizzed in my pants_

PERFECT.

I started frantically hitting every button on the stereo. Punching and pushing and slapping and I was freaking out. Nothing was working. Then I heard.

_I jizzed jizz-jizz-jizzed in my-my-my-my papa-pants _

The CD was skipping. The volume started getting louder and the same four words kept replaying.

"Mother fucker!" I shrieked at the damn machine that should burn in the fiery pits of hell!

I took off my slipper and started hitting the stereo with it. Finally it shut up.

I looked at Emmett who had this very scary shock face on. _He must think I'm insane. _

I turned on my heels and gave him an embarrassed smile and just waved.

"So, um... What should we put on the poster?" Emmett asked.

I thought about it, and it hit me. I mischievous smile spread across my face.

"Oh, I know" I went to sit next to him on the floor and grabbed the Sharpie from his hand. _This is for Alice disrupting my little session with Emmett. *Insert evil Cruella DeVil laugh!*_

***

**BPOV**

After a very, very long shopping trip with Alice, we finally decided to head back home to get ready. As we walked down the corridor to get to our apartment, I kept my fingers crossed that Rosalie and Emmett weren't doing anything I wouldn't want to walk in on. So we reached our door, I banged on it with every fibre in my body.

"OK, WE ARE COMING IN. PLEASE BE DECENT. OH MY GOD PLEASE DONT BE WATCHING PORN." _I knew I should have cancelled that channel._ "THERE WILL BE NO MULTI SPECTATING OF PORNOGRAPHIC MATERIAL IN MY HOUSE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? THERE BETTER BE NO STAINS ON THE COUCH ROSE. I SWEAR-!" the door swung opened.

"Would you take a breather before you pop your cherry?"

"Ha-haaaa!" Emmett was laughing at me in the background.

"I already have!" I yelled in her face while I walked in and dropped all my bags in the kitchen.

Emmett suddenly jumped of the couch and was standing next to me.

"WHAT? WHEN? WITH WHO? IM GONNA KILL HIM? It was a him, right?" He was going insane.

"Yes Emmett it was a boy. Also it was with my boyfriend Mike. Plus it was consensual so you don't have to kill anyone. Jesus you are such a drama queen!"

"Okay, we really need to get ready for Jasper's gig; we don't want to be late. So if everyone can please shut up, go in their rooms and get ready that would just be fucking dandy!" Alice was yelling and her face was turning red.

Scared out of our minds Emmett went back to the couch, Rose, Alice, and I went to our rooms to get ready.

An hour later we were all sitting on the couch, ready to go.

"Hey Edward can you come and pick us up now, please?" Emmett had called Edward.

"So he's on his way." He stated looking pretty bored after having to wait for us.

"So Bella, have you spoken to Mike? Wasn't he sick? Is he feeling better?" Alice had this worried look on her face. As if she really cared.

"Um... no actually, do you think it would be okay if we stop off at his house so I can check up on him? Make sure he's not dead and all."

"That would be a great idea. If he's up for it he could totally come with us!" Rose seemed really excited to. As if she cared either.

The door bell rang and I suddenly got butterflies in my stomach. I was excited to see Edward. We all made our way down to his car.

Edward was looking hot! I mean like he was wearing a button down black shirt, with the first three buttons opened showing off a hint of his beautiful chest. _Why did I have a boyfriend? Just why? _He was wearing these dark wash jeans that hugged his tight behind that I could just sink my teeth into…

We pulled into the parking lot and I walked up the stairs to his condo.

_KNOCK! KNOCK!_

Some rustling came from the other side of the door. _Okay so someone is home. _Seeing as the door was unlocked I let myself in.

"WHAT THE FUCK! Oh my god I'm so sorry, I must have the wrong room. I let you get back to your- whatever you were doing!"

_Tyler? Tyler was on all fours naked. Okay. I totally just had the wrong room._

Mike's address is 177.

_OH MY GOD THAT WAS ONE 177!_

I reopened the door.

"TYLER CRAWLEY! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MIKE'S-?" From the corner of my eye I saw someone come out of mike's bathroom.

"MIKE?" mike was wearing a red satin robe that barely covered his junk; he had a rose in his mouth and a whip in his hand.

_HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS!_

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD? MIKE? WHAT THE FUCK! ARE YOU FUCKING THIS BOY! ARE YOU FUCKING ME AFTER YOU FUCKED HIM?!?"

_I am hallucinating. I am hallucinating! _

I started taking deep breaths to relax, like they taught me in yoga class last year.

"Is this a joke?" I was so serious.

Mike stood there, I think kind of shocked, maybe confused_. Of all people he should not be confused right now!_

"Hey Bella..." he mumbled incoherently after a few moments.

"Hey Bella? HEY BELLA! I think I deserve a little more than a 'Hey Bella'"

"Bella I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for you to find out like this. Well, I actually didn't mean for you to find out at all. It's just that.... I'm in love. And it's not with you." He walked over to wear Tyler was, now standing, naked, on his feet, and wrapped one arm around his waist.

"So, let me get this straight right now. You were going out with me, telling me how much you loved me, making me think that we were this happy couple, AND IT NEVER OCCURED TO MENTION THAT YOU WERE SCREWING A MAN!"

"Bella I tried to tell you, really I did. But there was never a really good time." Was he actually pulling that line on me?

"Mike, there is never really a good time to tell your girlfriend that you're secretly gay. A simple phone call would've been ok 'Hey Bella, I think you should know that I'm actually gay!' or maybe something like 'So, I think you should know that I'M GAY!'"

"Well, Bella it's out now and I think we should end our relationship," he said in a matter-of-factly way.

"You think?! I'm pretty sure that was established when I walked in and saw this!" I waved my head towards Tyler had finally put a robe around him.

"Bella I think you should go. I was kind of busy when you walked in," he was acting like this was normal. In what universe is this normal_? Am I the only one who thinks this is crazy! _

"What the fuck!" I yelled, stomped out and slammed the door with all my might.

I walked back to the car, opened the back door and slammed it shut just like I had Mike's door.

"If I didn't know any better you would think it was Emmett who slammed that door," Rosalie laughed, and soon after so did the whole car.

"I'm glad my anger is funny to you people. Can we please just go?"

They all stopped laughing and Edward started the car. Rosalie put her hand on top of mine.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked in the sweetest tone. _I'm glad I have such nice friends._

I just gave her a look saying to have fun tonight and I'll explain later. She smiled and nodded. Everyone must have seen the look because no one bothered me for the rest of the car ride.

When we arrived at Club Soda, we were bombarded with screaming teenage girls and those gangster boys who never heard of the word 'Belt'. The bouncer asked us who we were and checked his clip board for our names. When he got around to my name, he stopped and stared at me.

"Well hello Bella, my name is Josh." He smirked at me and winked.

You couldn't say he was ugly. He was tall and buff; I mean real buff like the bouncers you would see in movies, wearing a black tight t-shirt. But I don't think I could ever date someone who could break me in half with just playful smack on the butt.

"Hi Josh, could you see if I'm on the list please, thanks." I tried to sound nice, but honestly after what just happened don't think nice was in my tone of voice of the day.

"Oh, you're on the list. You know I might be the bouncer but if you'd like to bounce tonight... on me, I wouldn't mind handing you the job." He winked again.

I was so not in the mood for this.

Edward was suddenly on my side. He put his hand around my waist and pulled me to his side.

"Listen, _Josh_." Edward said his name with such disgust, "Bella is my girlfriend. Don't ever talk to her like that again. Do I make myself clear?"

"Oh sorry man, I didn't know. You've got good taste. Nice job."

He let us all in without another word and I was so relieved he hadn't tried hitting on either Rose or Alice. God knows Emmett would have shoved the douche's nose up his brain.

The inside of Club Soda was awesome. It had bright yellow, purple and blue lights moving around the room. At the back was the stage where you could see people setting up the drums and the microphone stands. There were no seats, so everyone was crowded in one big mosh pit.

I looked up and saw Edward standing next me. "Thank you. For before I mean." I blushed and looked down.

"It's my pleasure; really I couldn't stand to watch you get hit on with such a pitiful pick-up line." He chuckled and flashed me a beautiful crooked smile. I smiled back.

Alice, wanting a better view pushed herself along with us to about the middle of the crowd where Jasper could see directly to her.

The lights slowly dimmed and everyone started screaming.

"Quick Rose hand me the poster!" Alice was yelling over the screaming fans.

Rose handed it to her after sharing a mischievous smile with Emmett and Alice unrolled it in one quick motion. Jasper, along with Charlotte and Peter ran on to the stage and took their positions.

"Hey guys! Thanks for coming out to see us tonight! For our first song we're going to play 'You Don't Love Me' by 'The Kooks'! Take it away peter!" Jasper had a huge smile on his face and looked totally comfortable when he looked at Alice.

Peter and Jasper started together after Peter's count off. Right after Charlotte started singing the first verse. Everyone was singing along and Alice started waving her poster in the air like there was no tomorrow.

Jasper looked up, and saw Alice's poster. Jasper's eyes grew so wide, you'd think they were going to come right out of his head. His fingers slipped... And then again. _SHIT!_

Edward looked up and saw Alice's poster.

"You should have known better than to write that on a poster. I mean seriously he's nervous enough."

Alice turned the poster so she could read and screamed. "**JAZZY FINGER ME LIKE YOU DO YOUR GUITAR!" **was written on the poster.

Rose and Emmett started cracking up. Soon after so did we. Alice however was going to burst that vein that popped out in her forehead, sort of like Monica in F.R.I.E.N.D.S on The Thanksgiving special, episode 226, season 8. _What? I'm a fan of the show jeez._

"YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? ROSE, IM GOING TO KILL YOU!" and in one swift motion the poster was on the floor and Alice jumped on Rose like a squirrel attacking the last nut on the planet and Rose was on the floor. So here we were Jasper finally playing normal, but in the middle of thousands of people were Rose and Alice cat-fighting.

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**So how was it?!?!??!!**

**You like? I thought it was pretty funny! :P Oh and if you wanna check out the song Jazz's band performed the video is on my profile as is the martini video which believe me you wanna see!!!!!!!!!!! It is LIFE! I LOVE ALAN CUMMING!!!!**

**He is uber cool! So there are no questions this week but you are welcome to ask me any! Let us know how you found it please!!!! Or else we won't be posting another chapter before we leave which is in 5 days :DDDDDD CAN'T WAIT, ITALY AND GREECE HERE WE COMEEEEE!!**


	10. Chapter 8

**We are soooooooo sorry! Honestly it was not our intentions to let it drag out this long! It's all Stefania's fault I swear!**

**But seriously it was, she got writer's block so we couldn't finish it and proof and edit it in time... So ya for all of you that I made a promise to that I was unable to keep I am so sorry and I shout out to you. sorry I don't have all your names but I know it was all the loyal reviewers :\**

**So ya we are back from europe baby and was it amazing or what?! We got hit on in Greek/Italian/German!:D Stefania, Stephanie and I got growled at and Hissed at and groped... Against our will!! Cool huh?**

**Ya so if you have questions about our trip we can answer them it's just because writing a summary on it in our ANs would be time consumming and you'd forget this was a chappy update :P**

**Ok so LET'S ROLE!.....**

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…_In the middle of hundreds of people, Rose and Alice were cat-fighting. _

EMPOV

"So, there we were chief Swan, just rocking out to the beat of the drums when Jasper slipped. Now Jasper never slips…Well only when there're hotties around."

"Hotties?"

"Yes sir, you know babes. Anyway, it just so happened that Alice, you know Alice right? Well she was there, holding a very…Very…Well you know, you saw it right? So Jasper slips. Alice, wondering why looks up and reads the poster for the first time."

He raised an eyebrow, "And?"

"And, Alice being so hot tempered freaked out and tackled Rosalie. I realize the circumstances sir, but permit me to say it was really Goddamn hot. They just kept rolling on the floor and-" He cleared his throat cutting me off.

"Right, sorry sir…" I coughed uncomfortably. What was I saying? I mean he was my uncle, you just don't tell your uncles these kinds of things. I mentally kicked myself in the nuts, and winced.

"Emmett?"

"Yeah, so um, they were fighting and then Bella jumped in."

He grunted. Shit, Bells was going to get hell for this tomorrow!

"But erm…She didn't do much, she was just trying to help." _Good cover man_, _very suave, now she won't get in trouble. _I grinned, and mentally tapped myself on the back.

"Then?" Charlie prompted.

"Oh right, so Bells jumps in, then I jump in, because hell there were three chicks fighting, I mean I couldn't help myself-" Another throat clearing. _You fucking moron_ _Emmett! Get to the point already! _

"Sorry, so then Edward tries to get the girls off each other, but at this point teenagers are coming from miles around to get into the mosh pit. By this time, Jasper is crowd surfing, because God knows, in that crowd it was the only way to get to the fight. All of a sudden, he gets flung into the crowd and sorta disappears. Now sir, I'm guessing that one of his band mates freaked out and called the cops. The freaking place is a chaos zone. I mean wouldn't you call the cops if your best bud was just flung into a mosh pit against his own will? Hell, I would have. Well anyway, the fight went on for about ten minutes, I knew that the girls had gotten out of it; Edward had probably pulled them out of there… So it was just me against all these teenagers." I looked him straight in the eye for a dramatic effect.

"Chief Swan, in all honesty, I'm not scared of many things. But this…It was fucking terrifying!"

"Language!" he yelled at me.

I ignored him. "Have you ever heard of an adrenaline rush?"

He opened his mouth but I didn't give him time to answer.

"It's very common, you can Google it. I had one, sir. You have no idea how it feels it's like you're a wild animal… Like a grizzly bear or something… So I acted on my instincts and I started to throw kids around, before I knew it, half the people there were on the floor, some passed out…some too beat up to stand…Actually I'm pretty sure most of them were on the verge of passing out anyway. I swear to God, those kids were all freaking drunks. So I was scanning the place, hooting like a maniac, because holly shit-cakes, was I ever proud…And that's when the cops arrived…What freaking timing you know? That's how they saw me, standing next to a pile of knocked out teenagers screaming like a psycho…And that's when we, (Bella, Jasper, Rose, Alice, Edward and I) the only people still standing-who had not fled the premises-were arrested."

"Thank you Emmett, you may wait in the cell with the rest of the gang, I'll be there shortly."

"Mmmmk."

I made my way back to the cell where Alice and Rosalie were huddled in an intense conversation in the corner of the tiny room. They kept shooting worried looks at Bella, who was slumped in the other corner of the cell staring at her knees which were tightly pressed against her chest, in a fetal position. Jasper was lying down on one of the small cots, while Edward was pacing back and forth awkwardly with his hands shoved in his pockets.

The door made a screeching noise as the guard opened it up to let me in. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked up at me with wide eyes. I just shrugged innocently and they went back to what they were doing before. I sighed and made my way to where Jasper was.

"Hey" He muttered as he pulled himself up.

"Hey"

"So what's going to happen…?"

"I dunno…I mean Charlie seemed pretty convinced by my story,"

"Well I should hope so, it was the truth… You did tell the truth right?"

"For sure man."

"Good."

"Yep."

We sat there for a while, just nodding, when Charlie walked in. Everyone looked up as he was let into the already crammed cell.

"Good evening," he said.

We all harrumphed in response.

He just rolled his eyes and continued, "So, I hope you all realize that you have put me into one hell of a tight place here."

Rosalie giggled. God I love that girl!

He coughed, "Most of you are like my family. Actually some of you are, so you can imagine how difficult this is for me right now-"

"Dad! Just get on with it!" Bella yelled from her spot in the corner.

"Right, sorry. So after listening to all of your stories, I have come to the decision to keep four of you here for the night."

We all groaned.

"Shhh! Now listen up, this will not go on any of your permanent records, because I know that you are all good kids…"

"Kids?" Edward asked in disbelief.

"Hey, watch it or you're being held in here all night as well! As I was saying, you are all good _young adults_," He eyed Edward which made Alice giggle. "who have just done something stupid. So consider this a warning…In jail…Ok, so Emmett, I'm sorry my boy, but you will be spending the night here. Rosalie, so will you be." He looked sad at the next one, "Alice…I'm sorry you'll be spending the night here too. I really am sorry."

Then he cleared his throat and looked at Bella, who was now rocking back and forth like a maniac.

"And as for you young lady, you know that you are not allowed out until after 11:30! That was the deal we made when you moved out. So to teach you a lesson, you will spend the night here with the rest of them."

Her jaw fell open in shock, "B-b-but DAD!"

"No! That's my final decision! Now you will all have to share this cell seeing as we have absolutely no room anywhere else, this is Forks after all. Edward, Jasper you may go home now."

Jaspers eyes widened and he looked at Alice, who had the same pained expression on her face. They starred at each other and then nodded. Alice stood up.

"Um, Charl- I mean _Chief Swan_ would it be okay if well… Jasper stayed with us? I mean I was his ride home, but now… Well, I'm stuck in jail so; he will have to walk home." She pouted.

Charlie's face softened, "Ok Alice, he can stay. Edward, would you feel left out if I didn't keep you here as well?" Edward just grinned and shrugged. "Fine, all of you are sentenced to Sunday night in jail."

Alice squealed in delight. Charlie rolled his eyes, "Kids these days." He said and left the room.

**BPOV**

_Fucking stupid Mike, I swear to God I will fucking kick his ass one day! I knew I should have ended it! How am I supposed to tell Rose and Alice? God this is so embarrassing! I swear I could just- _

"Hey," the beautiful voice stopped all the chatter going on in my head. I looked up and he was there, just standing over me like an Angel.

"H-hi" I stammered.

"Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all!" I almost yelled. He chuckled making my heart totally melt, as he sat down next to me.

"Thanks for sticking around…I mean, don't you have to correct bio papers or something?" I asked, like a complete idiot.

"Ha-ha, no Bella, I don't have any papers to correct, it's a ped day tomorrow, remember? And anyway, I was supposed to hang out with the guys tomorrow, but since they're here I figured I should stay…"

"Oh um, yeah I'mgladyoustayed…" I said it before I knew what I was saying. He turned to face me.

"I'm sorry?" His sweat breath brushed against my skin (yes that is how close we were!)

I sighed, already regretting this. "I'm glad you decided to stay." My cheeks got hot, shit!

"Oh really? And why is that?" He grinned. _Sigh._

What the hell had I gotten myself into? And what was with all the questions, _Edward_?

"Well my boyfriend and I sort of got into a fight tonight…"

Was it just me or did he flinch when I said boyfriend? Just the thought of him flinching was enough to send butterflies swarming into my already sore stomach…But these butterflies were gentle, not like the ones that I experienced when I saw…Never mind… I don't even think those were butterflies, more like beetles… Ewee.

"We broke up," I added for his benefit.

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that…" He spoke as if he really was sorry to hear it, but I could detect a hint of relief in his voice. More butterflies flooded in.

I looked to my left, Jasper and Alice were talking in a heated conversation, while Rose and Emmett were also involved in a heated action to my right…And no, it wasn't sex, they had _some _modesty (Thank the Lord.)

Edward laughed, "They seem to be getting along just fine now, don't they?"

I smiled, "They were made for each other."

"Some people just are," he whispered, now staring at my face.

I had to say that if I weren't in such a state of depression, not to mention mental shock, my heart may have leaped out of my chest and done a cabaret dance with a cane and top hat right on the jail cell floor. Seriously.

I don't know if I was imagining it, but when I looked at him, the electric shock that flooded my body told me that we were the people who were meant for each other and I think he knew it too, telling by the glint in his ever so perfect green eyes. If it wouldn't have been for the fact that my dads colleagues were in the hallway, there was a chance that I would have jumped him right then and there.

"OUCH!" Emmett yelled from the bed he and Rose were now in. Rose jumped up.

"WHAT? WHAT'S WRONG?!" the sheets fell off revealing her hand placed on the lump in his jeans.

**RPOV**

I noticed that Bella and Edward were starring at me. I slowly removed my hand from Emmett's really really big penis and leaned down to whisper in his ear.

"What did I do Emmett?"

His cheeks flooded with pink and I almost died from his utter cuteness. I teased his lips with mine, "Come on, tell me." I purred.

He leaned in, "Long story short, I mentally…"

"Yessss…?" I prompted

"Kicked myself in the nuts before."

I propped myself up. "What the fuck?! What kind of guy would DO that?" I semi-yelled, semi-laughed.

He was a completed dork, "I'm sorry baby, just come back…." He puckered his lips.

Of course, I absolutely couldn't resist, despite his complete dorkiness….

**BPOV**

Spending the night in a jail cell wasn't as bad as I had ever imagined it would be…Although it might have had a little to do with being locked in a tiny space with the most wonderful person alive or because I pretended to be cold and he held me close the entire night… Either way, we were let out very early in the morning, which was stupid because the station didn't exactly need the space, it being Forks and all. We each slumped to our cars- which had been towed and brought to the station, costing us 100 dollars- in the cold morning air. Rose and Alice leaned on their brand new boyfriends and kissed them goodbye before getting in. I, very cleverly, starred at Edward and grinned, and muttered

"See yeah," awkwardly before opening the door to the back seat.

He smiled brilliantly and waved as we drove off onto the freeway.

**RPOV**

"Sooooo," I said looking back at Bella in the back seat, "You never told me what happened with Mike last night." Bella groaned. "What? Did you walk in on him with another man or something?" I asked jokingly.

Her face darkened considerably, "You fucking bitch." She said in a whisper. I raised an eyebrow, Christ, what was her _problem_?

"You knew. And you didn't tell me." Her voice cracked at the end, I could tell she was trying very hard to contain her temper, although I didn't know what the hell she was talking about.

"I didn't tell you what? What are you talking about Bella?"

Her fists clenched and her jaw tightened, "Rosalie, you are the biggest bitch in the history of the world." Her voice turned shrill, "You knew Mike was cheating on me! I can't believe you didn't have the decency to tell me that you knew my boyfriend was SCREWING A GUY!"

_Ok wow! What the hell? _

"Calm down Bella, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"YOU LIAR! You Goddamn liar!" She pointed at me with an accusing index finger.

"Bella calm down, you're making me nervous," said Alice who was now driving very slowly.

"SHUT UP ALICE!" Bella yelled at the top of her lungs, "Stay out of this! This is between me and the FUCKING SLUT!"

"Ok, now you're taking this too far Bella, just calm the fuck down and we can talk about this like the ladies that we are!" I shouted.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she said narrowing her watery eyes.

"Bella, you're acting like a psycho, take a deep breath and-"

I felt the pain before I knew what had happened. I put my hand to my cheek where Bella had just bitch slapped me.

"I do NOT need to calm down!" she screamed, "Alice TELL HER, I'M FINE!"

Alice merely shrugged and pulled over, she opened her door. Before getting out she told us that we needed time alone to settle this and that it was hazardous to drive with two P.M.S'ers, gone wild in the car.

Bella sat in the car and gave me one hell of a scary death glare, until I finally caved and got out of the car to join Alice.

"Well that was interesting," I mumbled, as I rubbed my reddening cheek.

"So I guess we know what happened with Mike." Alice said in a pitying tone.

"Yeas I guess."

"Poor Bella." She sighed.

"Poor me!" I retorted.

"Well she's been through a lot and you really were no help."

"Oh God Alice, not you too! Are you all just going to spaz on me! For the love of all that is sexual!"

Alice rolled her eyes. I flung my hands in the air in exasperation, what was with these two?

Suddenly, I heard the crunching of gravel and the soft hum of an engine coming from behind me. I turned to face a grinning Emmett and Jasper who waved animatedly through their open windows.

"Heya Babe!" Emmett called in his booming voice.

"You ladies stranded?" Jasper laughed from the driver's seat. I could see Edward in the back muttering something under his breath, he looked embarrassed. He was too proper for his own good.

"Nope!" Alice chirped.

"Then what are you all doing here?" Emmett asked.

"I hope it's not another cat fight?" Jasper asked worriedly.

Alice and I both shrugged guiltily. That's when they jumped out of the car.

"Well now, this could get dangerous Jazzy! You take the feisty one and I'll get the hostile one." Emmett chuckled as he scooped me into his big, strong arms. _(Sigh)._ I yelped playfully. At this point Edward was getting out of the car,

"Where's Bella?" he asked, his pale brow crunching in worry. Alice and I pointed to the back seat, where Bella had now straightened up and was looking confusedly out the window at the spectacle taking place on the side of the freeway.

**BPOV **

I caught my breath as he made his way to the car and tapped gently on the tinted window, squinting slightly to see inside. He smiled and I could hear the faint hints of a chuckle escaping from his ever so perfect mouth, through the glass. I wiped away my tears and took a couple breaths before I waved sheepishly and leaned over to unlock the door.

He popped a squat right next to me. I mean, his legs were rubbing against mine, right next to me. I blushed at his touch; he must have thought I was a complete mental case.

_Perfect_.

"I was thinking" he started with a slight hesitation, "That maybe you and your friends should spend some time away from each other."

"What do you mean?"

"Well you've been getting in quite a few cat fights lately-and that is most certainly no way to behave for grown ladies." He chided playfully. It made me smile, in fact if I hadn't been in such a depressive state I may have even broken out into a mad fit of giggles. I thanked God that I was in a bad mood; fits of giggling were never attractive for me in front of guys that made me nervous.

"Well what do you propose?" I was surprised at my wit…Considering the circumstances. Being this near to Edward Cullen never kept me in the right state of mind; I would say that his presence normally left me quite buzzed…

_FLASHBACK_

"_OhmyGOD Alice! I failed my math test. FAILED! I never fail! What the hell am I going to tell my parents?" I cried while fumbling with a tray. _

"_Calm down Bella, just don't tell them." Alice said while adding lettuce to her plate. (Forks High cafeteria was fully equipped with a great salad bar. It was great for the days when we felt particularly anno.) _

_Before I could complain again, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Edward Cullen, the quiet, gorgeous, Godlike boy who sat in front of me in math class. _

_He smiled a heartbreaking smile and gently asked me for the Italian house dressing, all while keeping his hand placed lightly on my shoulder. After much effort I turned myself around to reach for the dressing I grabbed the first one my hands touched and handed it to him. _

"_I'm sorry, but I wanted the Italian dressing…Erm, that's the orange-ish one…" He handed the bottle back to me. _

"_Ohh right, yeah sorryyy." I slurred. I was a freaking idiot. _

_I grabbed the first orange-ish one I saw and spun to face him once more. I could feel the stupid grin that had spread on my face as I handed him the bottle. _

_He chuckled lightly, "This is a thousand island dressing, I wanted the hou-" he couldn't finish his sentence because a very impatient Rosalie cut in front of me grabbed the house dressing and shoved it into Edwards chest. _

"_Th-thanks…I think…?" he muttered, smiled at me and went back to his seat next to Rob. _

_Alice had to make my salad and lead me to our table after that, due to the ongoing dizziness that his closeness had caused. _

_END FLASHBACK_

"I think that I should drive you to my place and we could spend the day together."

My eyes opened in shock, I'm pretty sure my mouth dropped open too. Very lady-like.

"S-sure" I said nodding my head vigorously.

"Great!" he beamed and opened the door. "I'll call a cab. Since Alice is taking Jazz in her car and Rose is going with Emmett."

I just kept nodding. When he closed the door, I suppressed the urge to squeal and jump up in down. _He invited me to his PLACE!_ I got out of the car; Rosalie winked at me as I went to join Edward who was waiting at the side of the road. I guess she wasn't mad at me anymore, I felt a pang of guilt wash through me as I saw the faint red outline of my palm on her cheek. I was such a bitch.

I sat down next to Edward, who was quietly laughing to himself.

"What?" I asked.

He laughed more freely, "We must look absolutely insane, sitting on the side of a freeway. The people I called for the cabs were terribly confused when I told them where we were. I found it amusing."

I found myself laughing with him as we waited for the cab to arrive….

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**So? You like???????**

**Well as I said ask questions if you have! And review if you liked, review if you hated and well review if you read it!!!**

**lol yup! So we will try our best to get another chappy done asap but no promises because god knows we are horrible at keeping them :|**

**-Ali3**


	11. Chapter 9

**HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! So we've been gone for a while now eh? So this is chappy nine!!!! And guess what!!!**

**I WROTE A LEMON! AND IT IS IN THIS CHAPPY!**

**If you can't read it then um well uh its like half way through EPOV until like a couple lines before the end :P**

**But I think you guys can manage and yeah give me some constructive criticism you know because well it was my first lemon! :S**

**And um yeah I wrote this chappy and the next one will only be up after exams and they finish JUNE 17!! Hopefully it comes fast because im losing hair and breaking out with the horrible stress and all. Ok so for _Dariussane_ We will be posting our gondola ride video on youtube for you as a shout out from europe since you asked for one and we were like what the hell so yeah lol it will be up soon but there were complications with the video rendering and all so ya me and stefania have a youtube account for those who didn't know and we vlog mostly about TWILIGHT so yeah check it out and subscribe to us if you have an account and if you don't then make one :D**

**Alright that's enough and I'll let us get on with the chappy... oh and btw: We do not own Twilight because ya I never made a disclaimer! :P**

**LET'S ROLE...**

_

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_

_He laughed more freely, "We must look absolutely insane, sitting on the side of a freeway. The people I called for the cabs were terribly confused when I told them where we were. I found it amusing."_

_I found myself laughing with him as we waited for the cab to arrive…. _

**EPOV**

The cab finally found us. Well, that is after about an hour. To pass the time Bella and I went into the ditch and put blades of grass between our hands and competed on who could make the loudest horn noise. It was just too easy to act silly with Bella.

"No! Mine was louder, yours sounded all gurgle-y; you must have been slobbering." She giggled. "Ha-ha! I win." She said in a mocking tone but I knew she was just messing around with me. Well if she wants to play games then we'll play games.

She had her arms crossed and her back turned to me. I crept around and grabbed her sides. I started to tickle her ribs and she fell flat on her but.

"EDWARD! _*breath*_ No! Plea- _*breath*_ se no! Help!" She was laughing hysterically and panting losing her breath. Is she actually yelling for help?! What a freak!

"Say uncle! I'm not stopping. Say it out loud; say 'Edward is the best blower in the world!" Only after I said it did I realize what I actually said.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" She collapsed on her hands and knees pretty much pissing herself because of my miss hap. Literally smacking her hand down on the ground repeatedly! Great, she thinks I give guys blow jobs. Fan-fucking-tastic!

"Oh this is gold! Ok, ok I'll say it! Edward is the best blower in the world!!!" She was red and out of breath… Not an ugly site, not an ugly site at all.

"How funny Ms. Swan, very comical." I said rolling my eyes. I tried to keep my façade in pissed mode but she could see the smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.

"Mk missy yeah, yeah it's kinda funny and _not true_."

"Alright I'll stop but honestly 'Best blower in the world'? I'm sorry but you said it!" She started giggling.

"Yeah, I'm sorry you had to hear it." I said laughing to myself a bit. That's when the cab pulled up and honked his horn.

"Hey! The cab's here. Help me up." She looked at me stretching her arms out for me to pull her up.

I gladly gave her my hands and pulled. Ok maybe pulled was an understatement. She went flying into my chest for maybe the millionth time.

"Ouf!" She grunted and steadied herself.

"Are you ok? I'm sorry…" I was trying to hold in my laughter again but failed miserably.

"Oh shut-up it's your fault!" She was scolding me, and I liked it.

"No it's not that. Think of how many times I've had you crash into me?" I eyed her waiting for an answer.

"Ok fine a lot, too much to count, yes its funny ha-ha." She was blushing and her mouth was pulled in a thin line trying to hide her amusement. "Stop looking at me like that I'm trying to look mad at you!" She stomped her foot like a child.

"No you're right it's my fault." I chuckled and she laughed too.

The cab driver honked multiple times in a row to piss us off or something, I don't know…

**BPOV**

We got back to the scene of the crime. The Club…

"Your place or mine?" Edward asked me from under his never ending eyelashes while paying the cab driver through the window thingy.

"How about yours, ours is a mess and I bet Rose or Alice must already be there with one of the guys." He blushed and looked away… I thought I was the only one who did that?

"I-I mean um well no if you don't mind, I don't want to intrude…" I stuttered, did I just ask to go over to his house?

"Great, you can come over, I'll make us breakfast considering we still haven't eaten." He smiled at me showing off his amazingly bright teeth. Show off.

"You cook?" Mike never cooked. He laid in bed and made me get up to cook for him!

"Yeah… My mom always made me cook with her on the weekends or when people came over for dinner." He rubbed the back of his neck like he was embarrassed.

"Are you embarrassed?" I was grinning at him, was he cute or what?

No Bella!

You're just acting like this because your so called love just cheated on you with someone of the same gender! Don't fall for it; you're just vulnerable, not attracted to Edward Cullen. He just has gorgeous green eyes that look into your soul, the body of the David statue, sexy sex hair every guy should have, the hottest body ever and not to mention he cooks. OK SHUT-UP WITH THE MENTAL BATTLES!

"Should I be?" He was seriously shy about being able to cook!

"No! Are you crazy? Mike would always make me cook for him and ugh it would've been awesome if he cooked for me maybe once." I turned red after realizing I was talking to him about the dick wad.

"Any guy who wouldn't cook for you isn't worth your time." He said looking me straight in the eyes, which kind of felt weird but nice at the same time. Again with the emerald orbs looking into my soul.

"Thanks." It was a silent car ride after that. It was comfortable though, not weird or awkward, nice.

We walked up to his apartment and he unlocked it. He held the door open for me and gestured for me to walk in with the swift movement of his arm. He is such a gentleman.

"If you want, you can shower and I can lend you something to wear since you're still in the clothes from last night at the club…" He said while going into a room I assumed was his bedroom.

His house was nicely furnished; the floor was mahogany hard wood. His sofas were cream coloured leather with burgundy pillows piled in the corners. There was a window facing south over looking the city. The view was breath-taking, even for our little town of Forks.

His kitchen was probably my favourite. The counter tops were all peach coloured marble with three stools around it. The stove was the kind you would see in Martha Stewart's house!

"Hey Edward?" I half yelled. "Can I move in and you go move in with Alice and Rose?"

I heard his sing song laughter float through the hall. He came back into view out of his room in the middle of pulling his muscle shirt over his head and ladies let me tell you if I wanted him to move out before, I'm barricading the windows and doors now!

"Um, you can move in but, Alice and Rosalie scare me, so yeah, I'm not moving out…" He laughed and I just blushed.

"So, what are you in the mood for?" He asked me leaning over the counter; I was sitting on a stool.

"You," Oh fuck Bella you couldn't have just said it in your head!?

"Sorry?" He looked confused. _Shit._

"Food, I said food!" Once more with emotion, Bella. He opened the fridge and motioned for me to choose the _kind_ of food I wanted. _Smooth._

"Ok well I can make us something while you change; I left some clothes out for you on my bed. If it's too big just rummage through some drawers and find something better I don't know…" He looked uncomfortable. Ha-ha, it's not me for once! "You can shower too if you want. You know after a night out and a night in a jail cell and rolling in grass in the ditch off the freeway." He was laughing.

"Yeah I think I'll do that but what are you cooking?"

"It's a surprise." He had a wicked smile plastered on his oh so sinfully delicious face. I wonder.

When I said I was in love with his kitchen I was so wrong. His bedroom and bathroom were the best part! His room was a real turn on. His walls were a cream colour like the couches in the living room. But his bed was a blood red colour. It was a giant red feather duvet with red pillow cases. His drapes were an orange, red, and hay colour like papyrus and were hung from the ceiling to give the illusion of high ceilings. **(AN: sorry it may sound disgusting but link will be on profile to check that out –Ali3) **I walked into the bathroom and almost fainted from the steamy scent of I-Was-Just-Lathering-Myself-Up-In-This-Shower-And-I'm-Sexy-So-Deal-With-It-Because-I'm-Edward-Sexin'-Cullen. Basically that's all the explanation needed. Mike smelt like cat shit compared to this!

I started taking off my clothes when I saw something suspect…

"Edward?" I semi-yelled from the bathroom after putting my top back on.

He ran in with a spatula in hand looking adorable. "Yeah?" He asked, he probably thought I slipped in the shower he ran over so fast.

"Um, why is there a waxing kit on the tub?" He blushed again and shuffled his feet around.

"Well you see Bella, I wax my legs occasionally." I was officially dumbfounded and beat red. Edward Cullen waxes his legs, just when I thought he was perfect… I knew it was too good to be true!

"Oh, um well I hear swimmers do that… Are you swimmer?" I think he heard how hopeful I sounded.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any freakier he doubled over in laughter. Honest to god howling. He was pretty much in tears.

"What the hell is so funny?!" Ok something's up. "No but really am I missing something?"

"Oh god no, silly Bella, that wax isn't mine. I'll tell you about it later once we start eating you might lose your appetite but I doubt it since my culinary skills are exquisite." He acted all pompous and I was still confused.

I looked at the spatula, it had a light glisten on it and something smelled sweet. Why not play around with Edward?

I took a step towards him just before he turned away to go back to the kitchen. I put my hand on his oh so muscular shoulder and took the spatula in my other hand. I looked at it and ran my tongue over the glossy part.

Melted sugar.

I sighed and looked him straight in the eyes. Very yummy, and I just realized how hungry I actually was. Crap, I should shower now. Enough attempts at seduction, down girl.

**EPOV**

Ok so Bella was now licking my spatula…

Again that sounds weird when I put it that way but god was it hot! How many girls just come over to your apartment, use your shower wear your clothes and lick your spatulas?

I don't want to be with Bella just yet though, that would be really stupid of me considering she was just coming out of a bad relationship. I don't want to be the rebound guy, but I want to be with her so badly, ever since high school. I never looked at another woman like I do Bella. If I don't do something now I'll never do it.

Today will be the day I ask Bella out.

_FLASHBACK_

_Rob and I were sitting at our usual table in the cafeteria. His back was to Bella's table and I was facing it. Bella was sinking her teeth into a plump peach, Rose and Alice were laughing at something. Then I heard it._

"_No but really it wasn't meant to look seductive I was just enjoying my peach!" Oh Bella, don't you see yourself clearly? You could have a hangover and have mascara streaks all over your face and still be gorgeous._

"_Ok, yeah sure. More like you were having a peach orgasm!" Alice yelled giggling some more. Oh god, the sight of Bella having an orgasm would be amazing…_

"_Yeah Bells, it was quite sultry how you bit into that juicy, ripe, sweet, firm and soft as a babies bot-"_

"_Ok enough Rose! Honestly I was not orgasming!" Don't be embarrassed gorgeous any guy in this school would love to make you orgasm._

_Rob was talking about some useless shit thinking I was listening and that I cared but really I was only focussing on beautiful Bella._

"_So what do you think is considered orgasmic food Rose and Alice?" Bella asked with a smirk on her face trying to get the focus off herself._

"_Something fried!" Alice shrieked. Wow, just bring this girl to KFC and she'll love you forever._

"_Fruits. But they could be fried… Oh my God, imagine that! Fried fruits." Her eyes got a scary kind of wide._

"_Oh God, that would be heaven. __Like, honestly comfort food but healthy…" Bella looked like she just invented the wheel._

"_I don't think it's healthy anymore if it's fried guys." Alice butted in but they ignored her going off into their fantasy lands._

"_I think peach, pineapple and strawberries should be fried in melted sugar and cinnamon and vanilla and yummy stuff." Rosalie was naming off fruits while Bella had a glazed over look in her eyes._

_Who knew woman got horny over fruits? Oh excuse me, _fried_ fruit!_

_END FLASHBACK_

**BPOV**

I showered in the most amazing shower ever, but of course that's because it smells so much like him.

I was wrapped in a towel and looked through the clothes Edward left for me on his bed.

I looked around curious about him. His stereo was on pause from last night probably. I played it to see what he was listening to. It was a mixed tape from what I saw through the little glass top.

_A love like ours is love that's hard to find  
How could we let it slip away  
We've come too far to leave it all behind  
How could we end it all this way  
When tomorrow comes well both regret  
Things we said today  
If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me  
No baby please don't go  
Oh girl, just got to have you by my side  
No baby, please don't go  
Oh mama, I just got to have your lovin', yeah  
We've come too far to leave it all behin__d._

He seriously listens to Chicago, 'If You Leave Me Now'. Wow it just keeps getting better.

The next song started playing and I recognized it instantly!

M.I.A.'s 'Bucky Done Gun' was filtering through the awesome sound system and I couldn't help but sway and bop my head to the beat.

After changing into the sweats he put out and an old baseball t-shirt, I got a smidge curious…

He did say to rummage through his drawers if the clothes didn't fit… I mean the pants did have a draw string and this shirt looked like it was worn maybe ten years ago but still.

I have partial permission.

I opened the first drawer only to find a box of magnums. _JACKPOT! _Well we know he has the full package now! Wow this is so crazy. I'm going through my high school crush's drawers, wearing his clothes and getting breakfast made by him. And I now know his penis size a.k.a: COLOSSAL, what a day.

I was rocking out to his music and pulled out a condom just to make sure he wasn't one of those guys who bought the large size and put his real-small-condoms in the box. I mean I know Mike did. He was around five and a half inches but always had his condoms in a magnum box… Not cool.

As I ripped the condom off the strip I read the label. Yup we have a winner, or should I say a wiener! _Insert eye wink!_

I heard a creak coming from the door to find Edward standing on the frame. And it just so happens when I have a shit eating grin sporting my ever so red face.

I'm smiling like an idiot holding his condoms and he's looking at me with a smile on his face too. What does this mean? A) It could mean he is ready to get it on. B) It could mean he thinks this is funny and I'm always the one caught in these situations. Or C) He has a twitch. Which I highly doubt since he is so gorgeous and I never noticed a twitch before, mind you, he waxes…

Hopefully option 'A' was the correct answer…

"See something you like?" He asked quirking an eyebrow. Ok 'A' is definitely a possibility.

"Uhm, you uh I- hm." I dropped the box and they scattered on the floor, ok option 'A' is out of the question. _FML!_

"I see the clothes fit." He was red and about to burst laughing but I however was red for another reason.

"Huh? Oh uh yeah, um they fit." I quickly bent down gathered the extra large condoms and shoved them in the box. I sprinted to the door hoping to make a fast escape.

That is when I tripped and again was caught by two strong arms.

"Honestly Bella what will I do with you?" He chuckled and brought me to the kitchen.

"So what is it?" I said waiting at the stool watching him plate something up. It smelled sweet and fresh. It made my mouth water and I didn't even see it yet!

"It is pineapple, strawberries and peaches fried in brown sugar with stuff but I can't tell you the secret recipe, it's my moms." He slid the dish to me. It was so colourful and too pretty to eat. He even put a dollop of ice-cream on the side!

"Go on try it." He pushed. I was scared to ruin the Zen masterpiece. I shook my head in protest and just kept staring at the plate of fried fruits.

"It won't explode once it gets in your mouth, try it. Don't make me spoon feed you." He was being serious wasn't he?

My question was answered when he picked up the fork and speared a piece of caramelized pineapple. He brought it up to my lips and I just looked at him in pure shock. EDWARD CULLEN IS SPOON FEEDING ME FRIED FRUITS!

Just open your mouth and let it in. Ok Bella, get your mind out of the gutter!

As I opened my mouth so did he, mimicking my every movement. His eyebrows were slightly raised in anticipation as it touched my tongue. I closed my lips over the fork and he gently, slowly pulled it back. I chewed and not surprisingly closed my eyes and moaned.

His face lit up and put a piece of strawberry on the fork, I ate it and he proceeded with the peaches until the whole plate was finished.

I will never go back to Rose's or my cooking ever again. I'm seriously considering moving out of my apartment to come live here just for the food. Strictly for the food.

**EPOV**

We were sitting in the TV room with a movie on but we were talking instead of actually watching it.

"So if you don't mind me asking, what happened last night right after we dropped you off at Mike's?"

She looked down and took a big breath. "I walked in on him with another person." She said looking down fiddling with her hands. This newly acquired news pissed me off and I was ready to smash his head in. It must have been hard for her. I can't imagine any asshole who would give her up for someone else. Why would you give up someone so smart, so genuine, fun loving and crazy?

"What's his apartment number?" I asked attempting to act completely calm which was the opposite of what I was.

"What? Why would you need his address?"

"Well he deserves to learn a lesson! He can't just go around breaking people's hearts like that!" She started giggling. "What?"

"Nothing it's just funny because I couldn't imagine you beating up Mike. He wouldn't be able to fight back."

"Well why not?" And why is that funny?

"Well when I walked in on him, he was not with a woman he was with Tyler Crowley." She was laughing now.

I stood there in complete shock. Tyler Crowley and Mike Newton were gay and were together. What in the world.

"And you think this is funny, Bella?"

"Well now that I think of it, yeah it is because I don't know why I beat Rose up for his lousy good for nothing ass penetrating ass!" Oh well now that's not a side of Bella you see everyday. "I don't know why I spazzed at him, I mean it's not his fault he was with a man, I should have broken it off a while ago anyway. He was never good to me and I never even liked him!" She looked pensive. "Why the hell did I even let him have sex with me? He wasn't even good in bed!" She started silently shaking with her shoulders hunched over, laughing. I felt pretty much jealous.

"Ok I heard enough!" I blocked my ears. I mean I know she has no feelings for him now but still I hate the thought of Bella sleeping with anyone.

She kept giggling and I laughed along with her we were pretty messed up people.

"So why did you have a waxing kit in your bathroom? And don't say because you wax your legs or I swear I'm leaving and will never look at you the same way!" She said poking fun at me.

"Well you may not be as messed up as you thought you were, wait until you hear my story." So I told her everything about Irina and how she was a crazed maniac who pretty much raped me. But I didn't say 'rape' exactly; I said we had sex without mutual agreement, if that made it any different. I also explained the whole waxing kit story, because I don't wax anything. I'm a manly man.

We talked until nine and it was dark out.

"You know what's weird, Edward?" She was looking at me through her eyelashes.

"What's weird, Bella?"

"Well when we were in high school the girls and I were poking fun and they started making fun of how I ate my peach, pretty much saying I had fruit orgasms." She giggled, I think from the three glasses of wine she had. "Well it's weird because we talked about what the most amazing breakfast food would be…" She trailed off and explained the story I knew inside and out. But she edited it because it wasn't an amazing breakfast food it was what they considered orgasmic food.

"Well you see you made exactly what we said would be the best food ever!" She was smiling at me like it was actually a coincidence.

"Um yeah about that, I made it because I knew you liked it. Well no, because you _loved_ it." She looked confused now. "I remember that day in high school as weird as that may sound but Rob and I sat behind you girls and I heard that conversation. I figured why not try it out." I was hoping she wouldn't run out on me because of my new confession.

But the opposite of what I was expecting happened. She lunged at me and held me in a tight hug for about ten minutes.

"I never new any guy so thoughtful, you know that?" She was still hugging me and it was like I could've stayed in that position forever with her.

"I didn't know that, and to be honest I thought you were going to run for the hills when I said it." She broke the hug exhaled and looked me straight in the eyes.

"I would never run away from you." That's when I had to do it, I had to tell her how I was feeling if not I would ask myself for the rest of my life 'what if' and I don't want to risk it.

"Bella?" She looked back up at me.

"Hm?" She was sitting on her knees facing me with her hands in her lap.

"I think I should tell you something and I don't know if I should but I have to regardless." I started to get nervous and my palms got sweaty and she looked at me with a look of anticipation burning in her doe eyes.

Before I could say anything she put her index finger on my lips to quiet my babbling.

"Shush." She slowly leaned in and laid her soft lips on mine. She leaned back and I went in this time to kiss her full on.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and we were suddenly in a lying down position on the sofa. Her hands were everywhere on me, my hair, my abs, my cheeks, shoulders, hands and I couldn't have been happier that I finally got the girl!

"Bella, are you doing this because you actually like me, or because of the wine." You could never be too sure.

"I've liked you since I met you, even when people said you were gay." She shrugged. Wait, what?!

"People called me gay?!?!" I sat up and she followed suite.

"Well yeah but that was just Rose because well she said you were too good looking and sweet and smart and always hung out with Robert and well you never dated… Don't worry I never believed it!" She hiccupped, what will I ever do with her?

"Who started the rumour?" I can't believe everyone thought I was gay!

"Mike…" She looked red and I was infuriated, now I have another reason to beat up his sorry ass.

"But it doesn't matter, that was high school and this is now. I know who is gay and who isn't so please just kiss me." She smiled at me and I couldn't resist.

We were back to making out on my couch, I was on top of her and her left leg was hitched around my hip. It was getting really hot and I got nervous, again.

"I think I want to open a window it's kind of stuffy in here…" I was yanking on the collar of my shirt to act out that I wasn't just scared things were going to get carried away.

"Hey! No you are not opening the window its cold out and if you're stuffy take off some layers." She quirked and eyebrow and smiled that sexy smile.

Ok you want to play games again, Miss Bella? Let the games begin. I took off my shirt real slowly to make sure she got a nice view, because well let's face it I work out with Emmett.

Her breath hitched, it worked hopefully.

"You know I think it's kind of stuffy in here too…" She looked really amazing, her breaths were heavy and her eyes were hooded.

"Oh, well I could just open a window," I said with a grin and headed for the window. As my hand went for the latch Bella was sitting on the window sill in front of me blocking it from me. "Bella, what are you doing? Didn't you say you were _hot_?"

She moaned and took my face in her hands just letting it all out on me. I instantly got hard when she pulled me between her legs that were now wrapped around my waist. She grinded her hips into my groin, I growled and lifted her so her back was flat against the cold glass.

I felt her nipples get stiff as well and that just broke all of my control. I lay open mouthed kisses down her face to her neck that I was shamefully sucking on with everything in me. She sighed loudly and her breathy moan was music to my ears.

"Oh God, Bella, you taste amazing, mmh…" I ran my hands up and down her sides just grazing her perfect boobs, so perfectly round and perky. Ugh, she'll be the death of me.

She put her arms around my neck and started kissing and nipping down my chin to my neck and I couldn't take it any longer.

"Bella I've wanted you since I saw you, and want to put those magnums to use?" I was out of breath from assaulting her body from the neck up but I was still grinning at her.

She nodded her head eagerly and I through her over my shoulder and ran to my room.

"Edward stop you'll drop me!" She was giggling and I couldn't have been happier to have her right now.

"I'll never drop you." She looked at me, smiled and started kissing me all over.

We were on the bed now but she flipped us so she was straddling my body, she was sucking and touching me everywhere.

"Bella I want to see you, at least take off your top." I pleaded; I mean why did she have to stay fully clothed? Don't get me wrong I think it's sexy that she's wearing my clothes but I am a guy.

"I thought it would be better if you could do that." She continued to lick and kiss my pecks so I flipped us over and we were on our knees. I grabbed the hem of the t-shirt and began to lift, she raised her arms and it was on the floor in mere seconds.

She was left in a lacy baby blue bra and it was amazing finally seeing her stomach and gorgeous mounds. I stopped touching her and just stared like a kid on his first day to the candy shop.

She blushed. "Edward? Um, are you going to finish what you started?"

"Uh huh..." I couldn't process proper words, not now at least.

She laughed as I threw her back down. I grabbed her full breast in both hands and just started to kneed until she moaned my name.

"Bella? Do you want to do this?" I asked just to make sure before things got farther than she planned.

"You have no idea." With that I took off my pants and was left in a very tight pair of navy blue boxer briefs. My bulge was getting painful and I had to do something about it quickly.

"Oh wow." She was staring at my erection with wide eyes. I know it's bad but I couldn't help but smile.

"Like what you see?"

"Yes, yes I do like what I see." She breathed out.

"Glad to hear it." I crawled over to her and started to slide my sweats off of her taught round butt. She lifted her hips off the bed to make it easier but they were already at her ankles. She was wearing a matching thong to go with her bra. Her hips had the nicest curve going on and I couldn't help but stare at her long slender milky legs.

"Take off the briefs Edward." She didn't ask it was a command and right there my fantasies were being fulfilled.

I took them off and was now completely revealed to her. She was biting her swollen red lower lip and I wanted it so bad. I reached my arms around her chest and unclasped the bra and her perfect breasts just came spilling out for me. I had to work quickly now she was getting impatient and so was I. I followed downwards to her panties. On the way I kissed her from the valley between her breasts to her navel. I slid off her panties and they were discarded with the rest of our clothes either hanging from a bed posts or on the floor.

"Oh God Edward, I want you so bad." She closed her eyes stuck out her chest arching her back and threw her head back.

I slipped on a condom that was on the night stand next to the bed and was ready for her.

"You ready?" She shook her head and I got confused.

"Touch me?" She was begging me to touch her, so I'm going to touch her like she's never been touched before.

I kissed her full on and ran my right hand down her side to her wet core. It was so hot and dripping with sex. I groaned as I took one of her boobs in my mouth and sucked. I sucked hard and long. I started to rub her clit and she whimpered for me to take it farther.

I slipped one finger in her easily and rubbed her with my thumb. She moaned and I bit down on her. She yelped and it made my dick twitch with anticipation. I added in another finger and moved to the other full mound.

I was pumping her and I felt her walls clamp up ready to release but I wasn't going to let her off that easy.

Before she climaxed I pulled out completely.

"Bella open your eyes and look at me. I want to see you ride it out, I want to hear you scream my name." She nodded, clearly out of breath.

"Oh yes Edward, you feel so good inside of me. Ugh yes!"

I was pumping her again three fingers all at once. She was griping the sheets with one hand and the other was in my hair pressing me into her chest. Her juices covered my fingers all over as she shook with pure bliss.

"Edward oh God yes," She rode out her orgasm and I just watched in amazement. Fucking beautiful.

I put my fingers in my mouth and sucked until I got it all. Her breath caught again and I could tell now that she wanted it just as bad as I did. "Baby, you taste so damn good." I closed my eyes and lapped up the last of her cum.

"Edward, I want you to take me right now."

That's all it took and I was on top of her. My lower body was between her wide spread legs and our chests were pressed tightly together. I had a light sheen of sweat covering me and she did too, just adding to the intensity.

I positioned myself and looked to her for permission, she nodded.

I slammed into her with all my force. She cried out in ecstasy from the length and thickness of my dick.

"Jesus Bella, you're so tight. God, you feel so good." Her hips were thrusting in rhythm with mine, her boobs were rubbing hard on my chest and she was milking me so good. I slammed into her harder and harder until we both climaxed. The room smelt of sweat, sex and Bella.

I collapsed on her and we were both heaving. Her legs were still wrapped around me and it was the most amazing feeling I had ever experienced.

"That was pretty,-"

"Fucking mind blowing." She finished my sentence with utter grace.

"Yeah." I was still panting. I looked down at her and we both had goofy grins plastered to our sweaty and beat red faces.

"Your hair is so sexy." Bella said pushing it out of my eyes.

"Hmmm, so is yours. I like it all messy and stuck to your sticky body. It's a real turn on you know?" She giggled and probably would have blushed had she not already been red.

"You know what else is a turn on?" She said playing with my locks of hair.

"Oh, do tell." I said in a throaty voice, sucking on her ear lobe. She moaned again. "No wait I know. You."

"That was as cheesy as it gets." She giggled.

"Hm, but it's true." I said sucking on her ear lobe.

"Well what you're doing now is getting me ready for a round two…" She trailed off suggestively.

"I don't know if that's a good idea… For all I know, I can wake up alone tomorrow and never see you again." I rolled over to her side and glided my fingertips over her soft body just to get a reaction.

"Hm, that wouldn't be too good now would it?"

"No it wouldn't be." I trailed kisses down her neck to her chest.

"I promise I'll stay if you want me to. Oh and only if there's breakfast included in the deal, Mister Cullen."

"I guess that does seem pretty fair. Round two it is. But we don't have to limit it to two, just saying." She laughed as I growled and pounced.

And so it went for another six or eight rounds, I don't know, basically until we were unable to hold ourselves on our hands and knees anymore.

That was, my friends, the best day/night of my life.

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**You like? Ok let us know in the reviews and check out our youtube account! The username is foreveryoung1901 haha yeah I think you guys all get the acual meaning and all :P**

**Alrighty see ya later and wish us luck on stupid exams :D**

**-Ali**


	12. Chapter 10

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HELLO!

**Okay, um please don't hurt me or get mad I'm so scared right now because I don't want people pissed with us but hear me out before you start flaming _me_...**

**Alright so it was Stefania's turn to write this chappy and then she stops writing it and is all like omg I don't know what to write anymore but she only tells us this a while after she stops writing. And so we're like well send it to one of us but she didn't do that for a while either and then finally she sends it to Steff and Steff keeps writing but only gets on that a while after she recieves it and then I'm like on the sidelines like GUYS WTF START FINISHING THIS, I'M RECIEVING MEAN COMMENTS AND PMs! lol p.m.s...:P**

**But yeah and then at like the end of this summer Steff is like um should I continue with this blah blah blah because if I do then I don't know how to do it well and I'm like fine just finish it how it is it's all okay don't worry. But there was some miscommunication between us and she didn't grasp what I was saying so she just left it unfinished and unedited or proofed and I'm on msn everynight like SEND IT TO ME AND I CAN FINISH IT! but no, no one listens to alison, forget it!**

**But we finally got pissed with mean people and were like NO WE WILL FINISH THIS EVEN IF IT KILLS US! But yeah okay I'm done ranting.**

**So? How was everyones summers? Mine was pretty relaxed but now that we started school and we're graduating high school this year I'm freaking out! Like really freaking out it's crazy... I'm gonna miss it but can't wait for college!! Nursing here I come... lol**

**So yeah sorry for wiritng that whole ccolossal AN and all, I wouldn't mind if you skipped it. Well I kinda would because then you wouldn't understand and all but yeah I'm gonna stop now!**

**LET'S ROLE!...****

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BPOV

Edward was amazing. Amazing, beautiful and perfect… I was having an extremely vivid dream when an unpleasant ringing woke me up. It was more like a high pitch screech to be quite honest. I attempted to ignore it, the exhaustion from the previous night lingered. When I felt Edward press his soft lips to my neck, slowly making their way up to my jaw, (very hard to ignore) I forced my eyelids open.

"Morning love," he whispered into my ear.

I yawned, "Morning."

The alarm clock screamed even louder.

"Jesus what time is it?" I reached for the alarm clock. My eyes widening when I saw the green numbers blinking angrily,

"Shit!" I yelled and jumped out of bed. Edward moaned.

"What is it?"

"It's eight o'clock! We both have to be at school in ten minutes!"

"Shit!" he leaped from his bed to his drawers; he rummaged through, throwing clothes everywhere, until he came up with a simple white blouse.

"Here," he handed it to me and walked into the bathroom.

I quickly put on the oversized shirt. It looked like it could pass as a dress, it was pretty long. I took the belt off the jeans I was wearing yesterday and strapped it around my waist. I attempted to fix my hair, but settled with a simple pony tail in the end.

Edward emerged in only a towel, his hair was in its usual casual disarray. We stood like idiots for a moment taking each other in. Him in only a towel and myself wearing only his shirt,

"Wow Bella…" he muttered, lust filling his sexy voice. I wished I didn't have to go to work at that moment.

Tension filled the room as I moved closer to him and embraced his god-like body. He took my face into his hands and began to kiss me softly and then more and more fiercely. His towel began to fall and I could feel his arousal pressing against my hip. I started to unbutton my shirt when he put his hands over mine.

He shook his head to clear it; this was clearly a hard decision.

"We have to go." He said.

I nodded, disappointed and walked out into the hallway to wait for him; my whole body longing for him more than I thought was ever possible.

We drove in silence; he would touch my leg, my hand and my hair every so often. I kept forgetting how to breathe. We finally reached the school miraculously with two minutes to spare. We entered running, Edward signed himself in muttering a quick "hello" to the secretary and we made our way upstairs to his classroom.

There we went our separate ways; he entered the room while I stayed outside and waited for Rose, Emmet and Alice. The bell rang and they still hadn't arrived. I sat down on one of the benches in the corridor. I was starring at graffiti on the lockers when foot steps filled the hallway. I looked up to see one of the boys from the class, grinning toothily at me.

"Hi!" he said.

"Um shouldn't you be in class?" I asked.

"Nah. And anyway, biology is totally bogus. Don't you think?" He looked away scratching his non-existent stubble trying to pull off suave… It didn't work.

"No." Edward teaches Bio, why would it be stupid?

"Oh…" he looked down, but made a quick recovery. "Well I'm only here for the free condoms so…"

That made me laugh, his grin widened, "I'm Jacob by the way…If you don't remember me."

"Of course I remember." I lied.

"So, what are you doing here?" Jacob sat down next to me. He was very tall I noticed.

"I'm waiting for Rosalie, Alice and Emmett."

"Who's Emmett?" He asked with one eyebrow raised.

"Oh well, he's my cousin. We decided it would be a good idea to separate the boys and the girls for now on because you guys seem too shy to speak up."

Jacob nodded in agreement. "Maybe they chickened out." He chuckled, "Sex-Ed is some pretty scary stuff."

"Sure maybe to you." I giggled.

A door opened and Rosalie and Emmet came rushing in. "We're so sorry! We woke up late and…Where's Alice?"

"I thought she would be with you!" I said.

"Guess she and Jazz really hit it off then" Emmet laughed.

He looked at Jacob. "Who's this?"

"Oh, this is Jacob. Who really should be going to class now." I scolded.

"Right yeah, I'm going. See you guys later." He waved us off and jogged to class with his bag slung over his broad shoulder. I waved as he entered the classroom.

"Nice kid." I said before facing Rose and Emmet.

Rosalie's eyes widened. "Ohmysweetfreakingjesus! Is that Edward's SHIRT?!"

To my utter dismay I blushed.

"Ohmygosh! Omygosh! You have to tell me everything when we get home!" She gushed on and on.

I rolled my eyes, "I will, now can we please get this day started?"

Emmet put his hand to his forehead in an army salute, "Yes captain!"

Rosalie laughed and imitated him.

"Ok, Edward and Emmet will take the boys. Rose and I will take the girls."

"Yes Ma'am!" they said in unison. Edward poked his head out of the door. I turned the corner of the hall and did a mini happy dance and squeal to get it out of my system. I opened my eyes when I cooled down to see Mr. Pattinson taking a sip from the fountain and looking at me quizzically with an eyebrow raised. That's when I decided to just scurry back to the classroom like an idiot.

"We're ready for you now." He looked quickly to me and winked with a smirk on his face.

The class was split into the two groups; luckily the classroom beside us was empty so Edward led the boys there. Once all the testosterone had left the room, I faced all the girls who were staring wide-eyed at us.

"Hi everyone!" I began

"Good morning," the class replied, much to my surprise.

"Wow, they're polite" Rose whispered discretely.

"So today we are going to learn about the basics of sexual intercourse. Last time we briefly discussed the mechanics of how children are made; it's time to learn the mental and physical risks and benefits of sex," I informed

Rose took over, "Now people will have sex for multiple reasons. Personally I enjoy getting it on for kicks. You know for fun when I'm really drunk or-"

I coughed, "And that class, is not exactly a good reason to have sex in the first place," I glared at Rose; she needed a little talking to about being a good role model. "How many of you would have sex just for 'kicks' as Ms. Hale put it?"

Two girls in really tight tops and too much lipstick raised their hands; they looked like they were already having a lot of sex…And not just for kicks. _Cringe._

"Whores!" someone coughed and the class giggled uncomfortably.

"Ok, ok. It's really not a big deal if that's what they decide to do. However I'm paid to help prevent teenage pregnancies so I have to tell you all that you should have sex only when you are ready to do so and are sure that you love the person that you want to do it with."

"Understood?" Rose added. There was a wave of nodding heads.

"Excellent. Now…" The door slamming cut me off.

"Oh God! I'm so sorry I'm late I just… I was…um…" A much disheveled Alice stumbled into the class wearing the same clothes that she was wearing a day ago.

"Well, well, well… Where have you been Alice?" Rose asked smirking.

"I- I was… erm, busy… With…Research! Ah-ha! Yeah research for today's class!" Everyone including the teenagers (who weren't idiots) burst out laughing.

"Did you by any chance have a study partner?" Rose joked. Alice glared at Rose who was laughing hysterically at her own joke.

I turned to the class pointing at Alice, "Girls this is a great example of what you would look like after a night of sex." I started pointing at Alice's hair, "Your hair will be messy and out of control," next I pointed to her clothes, "You could be wearing the same clothes as the day before, unwashed and dirty," I waved my hand in front of my nose in disgust, "And with all the sweating that sexual intercourse causes you could smell of serious B.O. This is why you should always shower after sex."

The entire class erupted in laughter and Rose was officially on the floor. Alice on the other hand was not amused and turned to the class with a very angry look on her face. She pointed her finger at me and said very loudly "And that my friends, is how you look from a lack of any kind of action from the opposite sex! And I did shower! I was just very rushed and distracted…"

Well obviously she had not looked at my clothing attire today. I was quite angry right now so I turned to Alice, forgetting that I was in a classroom. "I would have you know that last night I had sex with Edward more times than you probably have had in your entire life!"

The class gasped, along with Alice and Rose. I however slapped my hand in front of my mouth in complete humiliation.

Alice turned to look at me with a large grin on her face yelling "NO WAY!"

I rolled my eyes, "Can we please continue teaching this class without any more distractions. 'Kay thanks."

One of the girls in the back put her hand up. Rose pointed to her for her to ask her question.

"Hi, my name is Kate. Um… when you say 'Edward' you didn't mean Edward Cullen, as in our Biology teacher, did you?"

My eyes widened in mortification. Alice however thought this to be very funny and toppled over in laughter.

Rose spoke before I could: "Why yes Kate she does mean Mr. Cullen. She has had a crush on him since she was about your age and last night all her fantasies came true. I also wouldn't be surprised that now that Mr. Cullen is being laid he will be in a much better mood and you will all receive less tests and better marks." She smirked. She really had to work on keeping her big mouth shut.

The class erupted in a mixture of gasps and laughter. I turned to Rose, glared and yelled for order. Everyone shut up immediately and I proceeded with the lesson ignoring everything Rose had said.

From then on the class went on fairly well. Rose kept her comments under her breath and to herself and Alice was fairly nice to me but kept smirking at me every once in a while.

About half way through, I suggested for Rose to go next door and check up on Emmett to make sure everything was going smoothly. She left leaving the door opened. I continued talking when I was rudely interrupted by Rosalie screaming.

**EPOV**

I lead the boys to the classroom next door with Emmett following me. I took a seat in the back of the class since it was not me who had to teach but Emmett. I was just here to supervise… and of course laugh and the reactions of my boys.

Emmett set his backpack on the desk with a loud thump. He started unpacking plastic bags, a water bottle, some flyers for something I couldn't see the name for and much more. Well I had to give this man props, he came prepared.

He then looked up at the class with a large toothy grin. "Hello there, I'm Emmett, also Bella's cousin." He waved like a five year old.

The class greeted him with an assortment of greetings: "Yo man," or "Heyyy…" or my favourite, "Sup?"

"So obviously I'm here to teach you guys about sex. Or as some prudes like to call it 'sexual intercourse'" he used his finger to make air quotes and rolled his eyes. He continued talking.

"I'm sure you all know what sex is, at least the basics. You guys are at that age where you start watching porn and chocking your chicken. "However, I have to teach you the risks of having sex. First off of course you must always wear protection. You don't want to get your girl knocked up at this age and have little mini-me's running around your house. And since you're probably all too embarrassed to go the pharmacy and buy condoms yourself I took the liberty of buying some for all of you." He grabbed the two large plastic bags and placed them on the desk of the boy in the front row. "Please all take a hand full of each, and use them wisely." He eyed them actually instilling fear in them.

Jacob who was sitting at the desk in front of me yelled "YES!"

Emmett looked up at him and gave a smile and a thumbs-up. The class continued on the same pace. Emmett handed out the flyers. They were for a sex shop down in Seattle. I rolled my eyes. How could this man be related to my Bella?

When he was done his speech he asked if anyone had any questions. The entire class' arms shot up immediately. Emmett pointed to the first kid Ben.

"How many times have you had sex, Emmett?"

My eyes went wide. Emmett just laughed and shrugged his shoulders. "Too many times to count my man, too many…" he pointed to the next boy, Jacob.

"Has Bella ever had sex?" If I were in a cartoon my eyes would pop out of my head. My jaw dropped I gasped and starting coughing hysterically. Emmett burst out laughing.

"Yes she has my dear boy. As a matter of fact, last night I am pretty sure she did not get any sleep and was busy riding Edward back there till her vagina was numb." He smiled at me. What was I supposed to do? The entire class looked back at me. My face shot red and I started shaking my head in disapproval at Emmett. How can he talk about his cousin's sore vagina so openly?!

He then added: "And usually when teachers get laid, you will end up having fewer tests and better marks due to the happiness that sex brings them." I slammed my hands on the desk and got up. I just stood there. Everyone stared at me waiting for me to say something. I glared at Emmett who still had a large grin on his face.

"You will not be getting better marks, okay!?" I yelled. I took a deep breath and sat down. This day was going great.

Emmett pointed to the next kid who had a question, Jimmy. "What's the normal size for a penis?" I smiled at that one.

Emmett grinned as well, "Well the average size is about 6.5 inches. However if you really want to impress a girl you should be at least 7.5 inches. You can use a pump. It will make your little penis get bigger."

I shook my head again. How could he stand there and tell 13 year olds to use a pump on their penis.

Emmett pointed to Nate for the next question. "How big is your penis Emmett?" There were a few gasps and some laughter. My eyes became wide again, thinking how a kid could have the balls to ask that.

"Well… don't be jealous but I'm a little above average. 8.5 inches." He smirked in my direction.

"HMMPF!" I rolled my eyes. Then I realized what I had done. The class turned around to face me. Great. Just perfect.

"Well Edward. You think you're bigger than me huh? Prove it!" was Emmett serious. I was definitely not going to show my penis to my class. Jacob stood up and pointed at me.

"He's chicken!" he started crowing like chicken and flapping his arms like a chicken. I sat back in my chair and crossed my arms. This was not happening now.

Emmett started laughing, "He sure is. I'll show mine if you show yours." Was this guy serious? All the years I have known Emmett this actually came as a shock to me. How could he possibly think that I was going to pull my pants down in school, in front of my students? I could get fired, for fuck sake!

The next thing I knew Emmett's hands shot to his belt buckle. Was he actually going to do it? Was he insane? I think he had actually lost it. I stood up from my chair abruptly. His belt was unbuckled. He started with his button and his hand was undoing his zipper. At that exact moment Rosalie walking into the classroom.

"AAAHHHH EMMETT!!! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

**BPOV**

Alice and I looked at each other and then ran to the room next door. Emmett spun to stare at Rose who was now marching over to him. Edward was standing in the back of the room with his face in his hands, obviously humiliated.

"EDWARD MADE ME DO IT!" Emmett's arm shot out pointing at a seriously enraged and confused Edward.

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**PLEASE LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK AND I'M SERIOUS I WILL BE ON STEFF'S BACK UNTIL THE NEXT CHAPPY IS DONE THEN IT'S MY TURN AGAIN AND I WILL DO ANYTHING IN MY POWER TO GET IT OUT ASAP. **

**And btw do you guys really enjoy this story?**

**But real question of the chappy is: How did you find 'Sex-Edward!'? **

**Did you search 'm' rated stories and this title enticed you to keep reading beyond the mini description or did you see it on someone else's faves? Were you searching a story with the word sex in it and you found it? I wanna know you crazy smut lovers! :P But seriously lol I wanna know, don't be ashamed of your answers, how do you think I found out about MLOONAA? I searched 'm' rated stories and it was the first to pop up no joke and I still do that :P**

**Much love!**

**-Ali**

****PRESS IT, NOW! JUST DO IT!****


	13. Chapter 11

**Hey guys!!!!!**

**It's been a while eh? Wow... An extremely long time, sorry about that! Things get busy in your last year of high school and you tend to have no free time at all!!!**

**Anyways, you know what to do! PLEASE RXR!**

**It would make my week! Also, wish Steff a happy belated birthday!!!!!! I'll give ya'll cookies if you do :D**

* * *

BPOV

Alice and I looked at each other and then ran to the room next door. Emmett spun to stare at Rose who was now marching over to him. Edward was standing in the back of the room with his face in his hands, obviously humiliated.

"EDWARD MADE ME DO IT!" Emmett's arm shot out pointing at a seriously enraged and confused Edward.

….

**ROB's POV**

The commotion upstairs forced me out of my very comfortable seat. I sigh as I imagined all the possible ways I could punish the idiot students for being rowdy and immature during sexual education. I was running through my maturity lecture when I walked into the class and saw the most shocking sight I had ever seen in my life.

**BPOV **

"What the hell is going on here?!"

I winced at the sound of the principal's angry voice. _Shit! _I mouthed to Alice, whose eyes had gone unusually wide at the sight of Robert. I turned around to face him, smiling the sweetest smile I could muster up in my utter state of panic.

"Nothing we can't handle sir." I said my voice surprisingly strong.

"This sure as hell doesn't look like nothing!" He bellowed and pointed to Emmett whose pants were now around his ankles. Rosalie was braced against the desk, her eyes set on Emmet's package. She was breathing a little too heavily.

Rob was turning unnaturally red in the face, "You. You. You and YOU, out of the classroom immediately!" he pointed at each of us, except of course Edward who looked like he wanted nothing more than to crawl under a rock.

We all slumped out of the room, except Emmet who clearly forgot that his pants were half off and as a result tripped and fell right on his face. Moments like those reminded me that we were actually related. I sighed and helped him up but not without muttering a sarcastic "_thanks a lot"_ in his ear. He stuck out his tongue at me and closed the door behind him.

The experiences I have had up to now, did not match up in the least to what was going to happen. First, Mr. Pattinson began to describe how utterly disappointed he was in all of us, that …

"If it weren't for the fact that we didn't have history in high school, you would all be FIRED" Which then led up to…

"Now because I am such a charitable person, and good friend; I will give you all a chance to redeem your sorry asses."

We all nodded solemnly as though we actually regretted the little occurrence that had just went down. Although, some of us AKA Me, were actually freaking out a little inside and were turning an unhealthy shade of bright pink.

Then as though nothing happened, Jacob waltzed out of the room humming joyfully.

"Hey Bella!" he winked like he had a secret that only he and I shared.

Robert glared at me and then at Emmet. I was scared I was going to be charged with rape or something, when, Rosalie cracked. She began to jump around the room dancing and chanting. It was faint at first and then escalated to a full on tribal war cry…But for some reason it seemed very familiar.

"To the universe! To the window! To the window! To the wall! To the wall! The sweat drop down my balls! All you bitches crawl!"

Balls? I knew then that Rosalie was attempting to create a distraction in the only way she knew how to; quoting chick flicks.

It might have worked, but she had been pulling this kind of shit since we were in high school so Robert wasn't fooled.

"Rosalie! I cant believe that you think that this no big deal! That you even have the balls-"

(Emmet "No pun intended" chuckle)

"To dance and chant like a cheerleader while I am assigning your punishments…"

Robert then got a dear in the headlights look, as though something terribly clever had just hit him in the face.

"You know what? I have an idea!"

We all groaned; this was going to be interesting…

"Seeing as forks high school is extremely short staffed, we are unable to have extra curricular activities. So, I have just decided to assign each of you to an after school club, you will act as the monitors for your club, without pay. Rosalie, you will be the cheerleading coach. All that dancing and chanting has really paid off huh?" He smiled maniacally.

"Alice, you can take over the soccer team,"

Emmet snorted.

"As for you, Mr. you can take over the wrestling team, see how funny it is to wear tights that ride so far up you ass you'll feel like you're being ass raped. Haha."

Emmet caught his breath, "Yeah, but I don't have to wear the tights, only the team does…Right?"

Robert grinned "Wrong."

I stood there for a moment, awaiting my fate, "And you Bella…Hmm…I suppose you can direct this years school musical."

_Shit. Triple shit. Being assertive was NOT my forte._

I nodded, despite the raging fear that was starting to build up inside me… _Directing? Oh dear God. _

Robert, satisfied with every thing continued his speech, "I hope these extra responsibilities will teach you a thing or two about acting like adults. I expect you here tomorrow at three o'clock, after your last day. Good day."

Alice lifted up her hand to say something, but Robert just turned around and yelled "I said GOOD DAY!" and then stormed through the stairwell doors.

For a moment we all stared at the doors which trembled with the after shock of Roberts's door slamming fury. Then Emmet turned around to face us all,

"Well…Fuck."

**Jasper POV**

"Hey man." Emmet answered, "What's up?"

"Dude! Help me! I am so bored! Where are you? I thought you guys were coming over for our American Pie marathon at four, what the hell's the deal?"

"Sorry Jazz, Edward and I got caught up…You will not believe what happened. Tell you all about it in a few, we'll be right there." I hung up and groaned this had been the most boring day off in the history of the universe. The band cancelled practice on me so I pretty much had nothing to do all day. I slumped onto the couch and closed my eyes. I thought of Alice…I was brought back to reality when the doorbell rang.

I answered the door and Edward's face was red and teary eyed from laughing so hard, Emmett was saying something about being ass raped…Wait. Fuck-The-_What_?

I stepped out of the house waving to my little old neighbor Ms. Prudence who smiled and waved back, sipping her special "lemonade".

"DUDE!" Emmett yelled, "You will not believe the shite that went down today at school. I LOVE sexual education."

My eyes widened as I heard Ms. Prudence yelp, I spun around to see her face all wet and her cup empty, she began to shake her fist at Emmett.

"Sorry M'am" he called, "It won't happen again!"

Once the two guys were close enough not to be in earshot of Ms. Prudence, I gently explained to them the delicacy of Ms. Prudence's "virgin ears"

"WOW! Prudence is a PRUUUUDEEEE! Who would have guessed?" Emmett chuckled.

"SHHH! Are you drunk?" I laughed as I dragged him into the house, Edward following close behind.

"Listen Jazz, we have some pretty messed up shit to fill you in on..." Edward started.

"Ok shoot." I let him proceed quite confused.

"'Kay so, Emmett here got everyone into a little trouble at the school and well they have to work double time for punishment… Can you believe that?"

_Umm yes. _

"No freaking way." I opened my mouth in a little circle feigning shock.

"Yeah well you know how I am with my ego and well my size… Down there. And Eduardo over here thinks he's funny making jokes about my manhood okay?!" He was red in the face and I tried real hard not to laugh but couldn't help myself.

"So what's your punishment anyway?" I finally asked.

"Because of Emmett, Bella is directing the Drama club with me, Rose is the Cheer squad's coach and Alice is somehow in all of this mess, chosen to coach… Soccer. I know it's retarded don't ask me why." He took a breath between his rant for the cherry on top of the situation, "And well Emmett here is going to be, the wrestling coach. The best part is that he also has to wear the tights with the boys…hence the butt fuck comment."

"Well, aside from the tight wearing, I think this is pretty good punishment, I mean you get to be with Bella more and Rose is great at being annoying and Alice well she'll need help." I said playing out a scenario of Alice trying to coach a bunch of kids to play Soccer and ending up flat on her back side.

We all laughed hysterically and then proceeded to making popcorn and setting up for our marathon.

**BPOV **

"Shit. Shit. Shit!" I whined, which really wasn't something I did very often, "I can't believe Robert! I mean Drama Club?! We all know I've had stage fright ever since I could walk!"

"Well, Bella, it's not like you're going onstage or anything, just behind the scenes. It's no big deal." Alice consoled… "And anyway it won't be nearly as bad as having to teach a bunch of kids a game I don't even play!"

"Well I'm happy with my job, I mean I _was_ the head cheerio in high school…If you both recall." Rosalie stated flipping back her golden locks as she walked to the passenger seat.

Alice and I rolled our eyes, "Yes. We remember" I said.

"Vividly." Alice added opening her car door.

Before I opened my door I heard someone calling my name.

"Bella! Bella, WAIT!"

It was Rob and he was running straight towards us with a book that he was flailing around like a madman.

"What's up?"

"I almost forgot to give you the script! Auditions are tomorrow and I want you and Edward to be perfectly prepared to cast this show."

My eyes widened "Wait, Edward is the other director?"

"Of course! I can't believe he didn't mention it before. As you recall, Edward was always the lead in our school musicals."

…_Oh yeah, another reason why we thought he was gay. That boy could sing_ and _play the piano. _

"Yes, I remember…" I'm cheering inside. Edward and I, 3 hours twice a week for two months!!!!!

Robert hands me the play, _Dracula the Musical_, inspired by Bram Stoker's classic novel. I stared at it, remembering Gary Oldman's rape scene with poor Lucy and the three naked vampire girls.

"Uhh, Robert…Isn't this a bit provocative for a high school production?"

He laughed, "You and Edward will figure it out… You have one restriction, no nudity." He gave me a reprimanding look.

"You don't have to worry about that…" I mumbled, blushing slightly. Alice and Rose giggled behind me.

"Good" He says, "I will be seeing you all tomorrow at precisely three o'clock for your duties. Good day."

I turned to the girls, "Well this is going to be interesting."

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**I forgot to mention a while ago that, FuzzyWuzzyWithBadHaircut, was our 100th reviewer!!!!!!**

**WOOOOOO ::insert metaphorical confetti, balloons, cake, music and fireworks!::**

**Heh... So yeah, please review and let us know what you think loves!**

**PS. We just created a twitter page so you can follow us and know what's happening, just search this name (sex_ed_authors). Also, we have created a shared e-mail account for our fanfiction followers on this story (). We also made a joint account for this story so you don't have to feel bad about not reading from one of our accounts and reading from another or whatever, and that one is called (officialsexedward) so find us because it's possible I take the story down from this account and it'll be on that one! So please add us there. **

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**-Ali xoxo**


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